At one point I had to take a call so I stepped out of my room. Coming back, she slammed her laptop shut. Laughing, I asked what she was doing that she needed to close it so frantically. She retorted coldly that she was watching porn. I instantly replied “makes sense” as if it were a reflex, and sat down at my desk. I must have been in some sort of a daze from my call, because only once I sat down I thought “wait WHAT?” I proceeded to stare blankly into my screen, afraid to turn around and look at her, as I processed the situation. After calming myself down, I continued the session as normally as possible to avoid awkwardness and breathed a sigh of relief when she left.
This might have been her incredibly awkward way of engineering a scenario for you to flirt with her.
I’m not sure what happened here, but if I had to guess (in order of likelihood, not all are mutually exclusive):
Bad joke (accident)
Got flustered, said the first thing that popped into her head
Bad joke (on purpose)
Flirting
Was actually watching porn, and thought that coming clean would in some way be better, or that saying the truth but in a weird way would mask the truth
Wanted to get fired but didn’t want to quit, somehow this was more socially acceptable than quitting
She was telling him “None of your business!” in an intentionally rude way. He walked in, she obviously snapped her computer shut. Then he asked what she was intentionally keeping from him. I think its plausible she was saying “I snapped the computer shut because it is private. Why would you ask after something when I signalled so clearly it was private. Do you really expect me to just tell you the answer immediately after making it clear you are not supposed to know?” This means it could be her doing work of her own that is private (eg. she does digital art in some weird sub-community and doesn’t want the “hey, that image is cool what is it?” discussion.)
Probably you knew men who watched porn at their desk or in the bathroom while they’re not expecting people to drop by. To do it the moment your boss takes a 15 minute call in the other room, entirely aware that he will come back at any moment, suggests that she anticipated the interaction.
This might have been her incredibly awkward way of engineering a scenario for you to flirt with her.
I’m not sure what happened here, but if I had to guess (in order of likelihood, not all are mutually exclusive):
Bad joke (accident)
Got flustered, said the first thing that popped into her head
Bad joke (on purpose)
Flirting
Was actually watching porn, and thought that coming clean would in some way be better, or that saying the truth but in a weird way would mask the truth
Wanted to get fired but didn’t want to quit, somehow this was more socially acceptable than quitting
I think an important theory is missing here:
She was telling him “None of your business!” in an intentionally rude way. He walked in, she obviously snapped her computer shut. Then he asked what she was intentionally keeping from him. I think its plausible she was saying “I snapped the computer shut because it is private. Why would you ask after something when I signalled so clearly it was private. Do you really expect me to just tell you the answer immediately after making it clear you are not supposed to know?” This means it could be her doing work of her own that is private (eg. she does digital art in some weird sub-community and doesn’t want the “hey, that image is cool what is it?” discussion.)
Another theory is she thought she had been hired for performing another service entirely and this was her way of breaking the ice.
I’m missing “is deeply committed to saying the truth in all circumstances” from your list. Seems at least possible, right?
I’ve known enough people who watched porn at work that I don’t doubt her statement.
Probably you knew men who watched porn at their desk or in the bathroom while they’re not expecting people to drop by. To do it the moment your boss takes a 15 minute call in the other room, entirely aware that he will come back at any moment, suggests that she anticipated the interaction.
feels unlikely
Makes you wonder if she would have worked for free. It’d be fascinating to conduct a survey on what the assistants were expecting.
My very first impression upon reading this was that there was half the setup for a romantic comedy here.