The polyamory and BDSM subcultures prove that nerds can create new social rules that improve sex.
Hmm, I don’t know that I would consider those rules overall to be clearly superior for everyone, although they do reasonably well for me. Rather, I value the existence of different subcultures with different norms, so that people can choose those that suit their predilections and needs.
(More politically: A “liberal” society composed of overlapping subcultures with different norms, in a context of individual rights and social support, seems to be almost certain to meet more people’s needs than a “totalizing” society with a single set of norms.)
There are certain of those social rules that seem to be pretty clear improvements to me, though — chiefly the increased care on the subject of consent. That’s an improvement in a vanilla-monogamous-heteronormative subculture as well as a kink-poly-genderqueer one.
(More politically: A “liberal” society composed of overlapping subcultures with different norms, in a context of individual rights and social support, seems to be almost certain to meet more people’s needs than a “totalizing” society with a single set of norms.)
This works best if none of the “subcultures with different norms” creates huge negative externatilies for the rest of the society. Otherwise, some people get angry. -- And then we need to go meta and create some global rules that either prevent the former from creating the externalities, or the latter from expressing their anger.
I guess in case of BDSM subculture this works without problems. And I guess the test of the polyamorous community will be how well they will treat their children (hopefully better than polygamous mormons treat their sons), or perhaps how will they handle the poly- equivalents of divorce, especially the economical aspects of it (if there is a significant shared property).
Hmm, I don’t know that I would consider those rules overall to be clearly superior for everyone, although they do reasonably well for me. Rather, I value the existence of different subcultures with different norms, so that people can choose those that suit their predilections and needs.
(More politically: A “liberal” society composed of overlapping subcultures with different norms, in a context of individual rights and social support, seems to be almost certain to meet more people’s needs than a “totalizing” society with a single set of norms.)
There are certain of those social rules that seem to be pretty clear improvements to me, though — chiefly the increased care on the subject of consent. That’s an improvement in a vanilla-monogamous-heteronormative subculture as well as a kink-poly-genderqueer one.
This works best if none of the “subcultures with different norms” creates huge negative externatilies for the rest of the society. Otherwise, some people get angry. -- And then we need to go meta and create some global rules that either prevent the former from creating the externalities, or the latter from expressing their anger.
I guess in case of BDSM subculture this works without problems. And I guess the test of the polyamorous community will be how well they will treat their children (hopefully better than polygamous mormons treat their sons), or perhaps how will they handle the poly- equivalents of divorce, especially the economical aspects of it (if there is a significant shared property).