The polyamory and BDSM subcultures prove that nerds can create new social rules that improve sex. Of course, you can’t just theorize about what the best social rules would be and then declare that you’ve “solved the problem.” But when you see people living happier lives as a result of changing their social rules, there’s nothing wrong with inviting other people to take a look.
I don’t understand your postscript. I didn’t say there is no inequality in chore division because if there were a chore market would have removed it. I said a chore market would have more equality than the standard each-person-does-what-they-think-is-fair system. Your response seems like fully generalized counterargument: anyone who proposes a way to reduce inequality can be accused of denying that the inequality exists.
The polyamory and BDSM subcultures prove that nerds can create new social rules that improve sex
The modern BDSM culture’s origins are somewhat obscure, but I don’t think I’d be comfortable saying it was created by nerds despite its present demographics. The leather scene is only one of its cultural poles, but that’s generally thought to have grown out of the post-WWII gay biker scene: not the nerdiest of subcultures, to say the least.
I don’t know as much about the origins of poly, but I suspect the same would likely be true there.
The polyamory and BDSM subcultures prove that nerds can create new social rules that improve sex.
Hmm, I don’t know that I would consider those rules overall to be clearly superior for everyone, although they do reasonably well for me. Rather, I value the existence of different subcultures with different norms, so that people can choose those that suit their predilections and needs.
(More politically: A “liberal” society composed of overlapping subcultures with different norms, in a context of individual rights and social support, seems to be almost certain to meet more people’s needs than a “totalizing” society with a single set of norms.)
There are certain of those social rules that seem to be pretty clear improvements to me, though — chiefly the increased care on the subject of consent. That’s an improvement in a vanilla-monogamous-heteronormative subculture as well as a kink-poly-genderqueer one.
(More politically: A “liberal” society composed of overlapping subcultures with different norms, in a context of individual rights and social support, seems to be almost certain to meet more people’s needs than a “totalizing” society with a single set of norms.)
This works best if none of the “subcultures with different norms” creates huge negative externatilies for the rest of the society. Otherwise, some people get angry. -- And then we need to go meta and create some global rules that either prevent the former from creating the externalities, or the latter from expressing their anger.
I guess in case of BDSM subculture this works without problems. And I guess the test of the polyamorous community will be how well they will treat their children (hopefully better than polygamous mormons treat their sons), or perhaps how will they handle the poly- equivalents of divorce, especially the economical aspects of it (if there is a significant shared property).
The polyamory and BDSM subcultures prove that nerds can create new social rules that improve sex. Of course, you can’t just theorize about what the best social rules would be and then declare that you’ve “solved the problem.” But when you see people living happier lives as a result of changing their social rules, there’s nothing wrong with inviting other people to take a look.
I don’t understand your postscript. I didn’t say there is no inequality in chore division because if there were a chore market would have removed it. I said a chore market would have more equality than the standard each-person-does-what-they-think-is-fair system. Your response seems like fully generalized counterargument: anyone who proposes a way to reduce inequality can be accused of denying that the inequality exists.
The modern BDSM culture’s origins are somewhat obscure, but I don’t think I’d be comfortable saying it was created by nerds despite its present demographics. The leather scene is only one of its cultural poles, but that’s generally thought to have grown out of the post-WWII gay biker scene: not the nerdiest of subcultures, to say the least.
I don’t know as much about the origins of poly, but I suspect the same would likely be true there.
Hmm, I don’t know that I would consider those rules overall to be clearly superior for everyone, although they do reasonably well for me. Rather, I value the existence of different subcultures with different norms, so that people can choose those that suit their predilections and needs.
(More politically: A “liberal” society composed of overlapping subcultures with different norms, in a context of individual rights and social support, seems to be almost certain to meet more people’s needs than a “totalizing” society with a single set of norms.)
There are certain of those social rules that seem to be pretty clear improvements to me, though — chiefly the increased care on the subject of consent. That’s an improvement in a vanilla-monogamous-heteronormative subculture as well as a kink-poly-genderqueer one.
This works best if none of the “subcultures with different norms” creates huge negative externatilies for the rest of the society. Otherwise, some people get angry. -- And then we need to go meta and create some global rules that either prevent the former from creating the externalities, or the latter from expressing their anger.
I guess in case of BDSM subculture this works without problems. And I guess the test of the polyamorous community will be how well they will treat their children (hopefully better than polygamous mormons treat their sons), or perhaps how will they handle the poly- equivalents of divorce, especially the economical aspects of it (if there is a significant shared property).