Okay, thanks! For me, a lot of this advice makes me think I’m too impatient when others disagree with me. I’ll work on it. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
Another stopgap measure which has helped me is to, when I finish a statement (maybe finish writing an email, or finish making a point in conversation) consider whether I’ve been unreasonable. An immediate correction can follow in person, or for an email, a new revision.
Will the person receive what I’ve said well?
Did I think about how they might react and shape my statement to make them react well, or did I just say things I wanted to say without consideration?
Has my point been made in good faith, or am I searching for justifications?
What do I really believe about what I just said?
(Some of that has more to do with being rational than reasonable, but the two aren’t completely different, after all.)
This kind of afterthought-based correction eventually trickles into the first-thought reasoning to some extent, because it alters the incentive structure (you learn not to say things that you’ll just end up correcting). So, it may be more useful than it sounds.
Okay, thanks! For me, a lot of this advice makes me think I’m too impatient when others disagree with me. I’ll work on it. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
Another stopgap measure which has helped me is to, when I finish a statement (maybe finish writing an email, or finish making a point in conversation) consider whether I’ve been unreasonable. An immediate correction can follow in person, or for an email, a new revision.
Will the person receive what I’ve said well?
Did I think about how they might react and shape my statement to make them react well, or did I just say things I wanted to say without consideration?
Has my point been made in good faith, or am I searching for justifications?
What do I really believe about what I just said?
(Some of that has more to do with being rational than reasonable, but the two aren’t completely different, after all.)
A further comment:
This kind of afterthought-based correction eventually trickles into the first-thought reasoning to some extent, because it alters the incentive structure (you learn not to say things that you’ll just end up correcting). So, it may be more useful than it sounds.