This practice doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. You can still hold others accountable while taking responsibility for your own reactions.
Well, what if there’s a good piece of code (if you’ll allow the crudity) in your head, and someone else’s bad behavior is geared at hacking/exploiting that piece of code? The harm done is partly due to that piece of code and its role in part of your reaction to their bad behavior. But the implication is that they should stop with their bad behavior, not that you should get rid of the good code. I believe you’ll respond “Ah, but you see, there’s more than two options. You can change yourself in ways other than just deleting the code. You could recognize how the code is actually partly good and partly bad, and refactor it; and you could add other code to respond skillfully to their bad behavior; and you can add other code to help them correct their behavior.”. Which I totally agree with, but at this point, what’s being communicated by “taking self-blame” other than at best “reprogram yourself in Good/skillful ways” or more realistically “acquiesce to abuse”?
Well, what if there’s a good piece of code (if you’ll allow the crudity) in your head, and someone else’s bad behavior is geared at hacking/exploiting that piece of code? The harm done is partly due to that piece of code and its role in part of your reaction to their bad behavior. But the implication is that they should stop with their bad behavior, not that you should get rid of the good code. I believe you’ll respond “Ah, but you see, there’s more than two options. You can change yourself in ways other than just deleting the code. You could recognize how the code is actually partly good and partly bad, and refactor it; and you could add other code to respond skillfully to their bad behavior; and you can add other code to help them correct their behavior.”. Which I totally agree with, but at this point, what’s being communicated by “taking self-blame” other than at best “reprogram yourself in Good/skillful ways” or more realistically “acquiesce to abuse”?