Certainly many people do the sort of thing you’re describing, but I think you’re fighting the hypothetical. The post as I understand it is talking about people who fail to live up to their own definitions of being a good person.
For example, someone might believe that they are not a racist, because they treat people equally regardless of race, while in fact they are reluctant to shake the hands of black people in circumstances where they would be happy to shake the hands of white people. This hypothetical person has not consciously noticed that this is a pattern of behavior; from their perspective they make the individual decisions based on their feelings at the time, which do not involve any conscious intention to treat black people differently than white, and they haven’t considered the data closely enough to notice that those feelings are reliably more negative with regards to black people than white. If they heard that someone else avoided shaking black people’s hands, they would think that was a racist thing to do.
Our example, if they are heavily invested in an internal narrative of being a good non-racist sort of person, might react very negatively to having this behavior pointed out to them. It is a true fact about their behavior, and not even a very negative one, but in their own internal ontology it is the sort of thing Bad People do, as a Good Person they do not do bad things, and therefore telling them they’re doing it is (when it comes to their emotional experience) the same as telling them they are a Bad Person.
This feels very bad! Fortunately, there is a convenient loophole: if you’re a Good Person, then whoever told you you’re a Bad Person must have been trying to hurt you. How awful they are, to make such a good person as you feel so bad! (To be clear, most of this is usually not consciously reasoned through—if it were it would be easier to notice the faulty logic—but rather directly experienced as though it were true.)
I think the dynamic I describe is the same one jessicata is describing, and it is a very common human failing.
When it comes to the difficulty of being or not being a good person, I think this is a matter of whether or not it’s possible to be or not be a good person by one’s own standards (e.g., one might believe that it’s wrong to consume animal products, but be unable to become a vegan due to health concerns). If you fail to live up to your own moral standards and are invested in your self-image as the sort of person who meets them, it is tempting to revise the moral standards, internally avoid thinking about the fact that your actions lead to consequences you consider negative, treat people who point out your failings as attackers, etc.; jessicata’s proposal is one potential way to avoid falling into that trap (if you already aren’t a Good Person, then it’s not so frightening to have done something a Good Person wouldn’t do).
Certainly many people do the sort of thing you’re describing, but I think you’re fighting the hypothetical. The post as I understand it is talking about people who fail to live up to their own definitions of being a good person.
For example, someone might believe that they are not a racist, because they treat people equally regardless of race, while in fact they are reluctant to shake the hands of black people in circumstances where they would be happy to shake the hands of white people. This hypothetical person has not consciously noticed that this is a pattern of behavior; from their perspective they make the individual decisions based on their feelings at the time, which do not involve any conscious intention to treat black people differently than white, and they haven’t considered the data closely enough to notice that those feelings are reliably more negative with regards to black people than white. If they heard that someone else avoided shaking black people’s hands, they would think that was a racist thing to do.
Our example, if they are heavily invested in an internal narrative of being a good non-racist sort of person, might react very negatively to having this behavior pointed out to them. It is a true fact about their behavior, and not even a very negative one, but in their own internal ontology it is the sort of thing Bad People do, as a Good Person they do not do bad things, and therefore telling them they’re doing it is (when it comes to their emotional experience) the same as telling them they are a Bad Person.
This feels very bad! Fortunately, there is a convenient loophole: if you’re a Good Person, then whoever told you you’re a Bad Person must have been trying to hurt you. How awful they are, to make such a good person as you feel so bad! (To be clear, most of this is usually not consciously reasoned through—if it were it would be easier to notice the faulty logic—but rather directly experienced as though it were true.)
I think the dynamic I describe is the same one jessicata is describing, and it is a very common human failing.
When it comes to the difficulty of being or not being a good person, I think this is a matter of whether or not it’s possible to be or not be a good person by one’s own standards (e.g., one might believe that it’s wrong to consume animal products, but be unable to become a vegan due to health concerns). If you fail to live up to your own moral standards and are invested in your self-image as the sort of person who meets them, it is tempting to revise the moral standards, internally avoid thinking about the fact that your actions lead to consequences you consider negative, treat people who point out your failings as attackers, etc.; jessicata’s proposal is one potential way to avoid falling into that trap (if you already aren’t a Good Person, then it’s not so frightening to have done something a Good Person wouldn’t do).