Heh. From a certain point of view, she really doesn’t. If she cuts you up, that would be your problem.
she says that her problems are because of me and if I would just do what she says (a long an unreasonable and constantly shifting list) she would get better. She also believes I deserve what she does because I “push her over the edge.”
I’ve basically become a drone that works and worries about her and that’s about it.
A friend of a friend was dating a person who would fit this description exactly, and… well, it would be a long story. Towards the end the person demanded that they spend the whole day together, every day, which made them both unable to keep a job, so they just kept borrowing as much money as was possible from anyone. The victim was completely brainwashed, and despite trying to do everything, was beaten regularly, more and more severely. At the end, the victim’s family kidnapped the victim and kept them in another country for a few months, not allowing them to use phone or internet. This finally allowed the victim to “awaken”.
Meanwhile the abuser was evicted from the appartment they haven’t paid rent for. Instead of finding a job, the abuser spent all their time trying to contact the victim, manipulating a wide social network quite successfully; but the family did a good job at hiding the victim until their “awakening”, at which point the victim didn’t want to see the abuser anymore. I don’t have detailed information about what happened afterwards; I believe the family didn’t call the police, but threatened to do so if the abuser tries to approach the victim anymore. (Institutions scare the abuser like shit.) The abuser is now homeless, works for food, and keeps a blog about how this all was a conspiracy of unfavorable parents against the True Love, with prayers to God to make the victim return to them. Note: the abuser is an atheist, but the victim is strongly religious; everything the abuser does is a calculated manipulation. Hopefully, as a homeless person, their ability to charm and seduce people will be diminished. The victim is back, living a normal life again, as far as I know. This happened about five years ago.
So, congratulations on quitting soon enough! You were not harmed; you didn’t lose your job and savings.
I miss my former self and getting that back is one of the things that excites me most.
For the victim in my story, it took less than one year. I mean, about a month to “awaken”, a few more months to regain emotional balance and feel the certainty that even if they would meet the abuser again they wouldn’t succumb to their manipulation, and the rest of the year to stop bitching about the abuser and focus on living their normal life again.
At this moment I would recommend trying to remember what you enjoyed doing before this all started, and perhaps contacting your old friends and doing it again.
Also, cut the contact. She will probably find many different reasons to talk to you; may blackmail you to talking. For example, if you forgot some of your property at her place, she may insist on meeting you one-on-one and having a conversation before she returns it to you. Do not, ever, meet her in an isolated place. She would probably try to brainwash you again, but if that fails, she might try some insane shit as a “punishment”—cut you with a knife, start screaming that you raped her, or whatever crazy idea may come to her mind.
Heh. From a certain point of view, she really doesn’t. If she cuts you up, that would be your problem.
A friend of a friend was dating a person who would fit this description exactly, and… well, it would be a long story. Towards the end the person demanded that they spend the whole day together, every day, which made them both unable to keep a job, so they just kept borrowing as much money as was possible from anyone. The victim was completely brainwashed, and despite trying to do everything, was beaten regularly, more and more severely. At the end, the victim’s family kidnapped the victim and kept them in another country for a few months, not allowing them to use phone or internet. This finally allowed the victim to “awaken”.
Meanwhile the abuser was evicted from the appartment they haven’t paid rent for. Instead of finding a job, the abuser spent all their time trying to contact the victim, manipulating a wide social network quite successfully; but the family did a good job at hiding the victim until their “awakening”, at which point the victim didn’t want to see the abuser anymore. I don’t have detailed information about what happened afterwards; I believe the family didn’t call the police, but threatened to do so if the abuser tries to approach the victim anymore. (Institutions scare the abuser like shit.) The abuser is now homeless, works for food, and keeps a blog about how this all was a conspiracy of unfavorable parents against the True Love, with prayers to God to make the victim return to them. Note: the abuser is an atheist, but the victim is strongly religious; everything the abuser does is a calculated manipulation. Hopefully, as a homeless person, their ability to charm and seduce people will be diminished. The victim is back, living a normal life again, as far as I know. This happened about five years ago.
So, congratulations on quitting soon enough! You were not harmed; you didn’t lose your job and savings.
For the victim in my story, it took less than one year. I mean, about a month to “awaken”, a few more months to regain emotional balance and feel the certainty that even if they would meet the abuser again they wouldn’t succumb to their manipulation, and the rest of the year to stop bitching about the abuser and focus on living their normal life again.
At this moment I would recommend trying to remember what you enjoyed doing before this all started, and perhaps contacting your old friends and doing it again.
Also, cut the contact. She will probably find many different reasons to talk to you; may blackmail you to talking. For example, if you forgot some of your property at her place, she may insist on meeting you one-on-one and having a conversation before she returns it to you. Do not, ever, meet her in an isolated place. She would probably try to brainwash you again, but if that fails, she might try some insane shit as a “punishment”—cut you with a knife, start screaming that you raped her, or whatever crazy idea may come to her mind.
Glad I could help.