I instead felt somewhat guilty and greedy about trying to have it ‘all’ - a family and a career.
Just chiming in to say that “wanting to have it all” is good and absolutely not something to feel guilty about, as long as it doesn’t make your failures more painful. Whenever people around you say or imply that you “ought” to be “humble”, they’re wrong and you’re right.
Yes, I needed to first consciously recognize and then reject the meme that trying to optimize beyond what others are doing will be punished by fate.
There is the story of the greedy monkey that is an example of this meme. There’s a grain of truth to the parable, so I would have to think about the distinction to be made about when to apply it and when not to.
The fate does punish, through improbability of unusual success. One would be guilty for not taking this improbability into account, and correspondingly for not heeding the heuristics that point it out. Sometimes the heuristics are wrong, and the plan is solid regardless of what they tell (for other reasons), which is where one shouldn’t feel guilty for disregarding them.
Just chiming in to say that “wanting to have it all” is good and absolutely not something to feel guilty about, as long as it doesn’t make your failures more painful. Whenever people around you say or imply that you “ought” to be “humble”, they’re wrong and you’re right.
Yes, I needed to first consciously recognize and then reject the meme that trying to optimize beyond what others are doing will be punished by fate.
There is the story of the greedy monkey that is an example of this meme. There’s a grain of truth to the parable, so I would have to think about the distinction to be made about when to apply it and when not to.
The fate does punish, through improbability of unusual success. One would be guilty for not taking this improbability into account, and correspondingly for not heeding the heuristics that point it out. Sometimes the heuristics are wrong, and the plan is solid regardless of what they tell (for other reasons), which is where one shouldn’t feel guilty for disregarding them.