I figure I would do my due diligence for the sake of the community, or whatever, so I downvoted this post. Note that I’m a newer user of Less Wrong who isn’t very familiar with Mr. Newsome’s history of shenanigans on this website. So, I didn’t have an automatic reaction to cringe, or something, when I encountered this piece. I downvoted this post based upon its own, singular lack of merit.
Mr. Newsome, here is some criticism I hope you appreciate.
Nothing about this first chapter here is enticing me to care about ‘post-rationality’, whatever that is. Eliezer Yudkowsky took a premise everyone was familiar with, and turned it on its head during the first chapter. He used a narrative format that was familiar, and actually wrote well. While the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality didn’t immediately begin with a introduction of what the “methods of rationality” as applied to magic would be, per se, there was enough of that in the first chapter to keep others reading.
In hindsight, Mr. Yudkowsky couldn’t have expected his fan fiction to become so popular, or so widely read. The fact that it has might be biasing me into thinking that his first crack at writing the fan fiction was better than it really is.
Anyway, it seems you’re trying too much with this piece. Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality is the premise everyone here is familiar with, but you’ve done more than just turn it on its head. You’ve turned the very idea of one having a deep familiarity with the tropes on Less Wrong on its head. The first paragraph is just a blast of memes; I’m familiar with all of them, but I don’t understand what all of them mean. The first part is incoherent, and is signaling that you have the knowledge to mock (in jest) the Less Wrong community. That in itself isn’t clever, and the rest of the piece isn’t clever enough as a parody to keep us, the readers, engaged.
I perceive the second part of this chapter to be a bit funny, but it doesn’t build upon anything to get me to care. I don’t believe it will be sustainable to have Potter-Yudkowsky be aware that he is in a meta-fan-fiction. If the protagonist confronts you, the author, as the controller of the world he is simulated within, he can at best only engage with a caricature of yourself as you’ve written it. It’s difficult for me to think of how you would handle that without it becoming boring, lest you’re very talented, and creative. If Potter-Yudkowsky realizes he can use his awareness to gain superpowers, that destroys the suspension of disbelief in the fantasy world the reader immerses themselves in quickly, which would also be boring. Finally, based upon how this chapter has played out, it would be difficult to maintain great continuity into the next chapter, which I would personally find frustrating, and challenging, as a reader.
This reads as the first part of some absurdist fiction. Still, it contains little foresight. The fact that you were drunk at the time this chapter was written, and posted, leads me to suspect that such an aspect made you want to post something which would be entertaining to yourself, but wasn’t crafted with much thought to how it would be received by whatever readership you were hoping for.
In short, this doesn’t strike me as a direct parody of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, but a parody of the rationalist community itself(?). That’s such an odd thing to do that I find it off-putting, and I consider it this piece’s undoing.
If you think I’m being unfair, note that HPMOR isn’t posted here, just referenced to it. If you actually want to work on writing as you’ve claimed, rather than trolling, maybe fanfic.net is the better place.
It seems to me you’re aware of your own writing, compared to the body of fiction you’re already familiar with, such that you know how to write in the typical style, or cadence, of long-form narratives. That is, you can, or could, write good fiction. I don’t even know that you need to work on your style. Maybe what you need to hone is the broader strokes of planning a piece with a consistent theme, or structure, that would be appealing to the readership you’re hoping for. Obviously, from among the rationalist community is the readership you’re aiming for. Presumably, you have the knowledge to produce funny content that would be better appreciated. Starting on FanFiction.net might be the place to start.
Thanks for the criticism, you’re the first person to give me useful advice. Honestly you probably put more effort into writing this comment than I put into writing my chapter. I really appreciate it. I’ll keep a tab open for this comment next time I attempt to write some fiction.
I figure I would do my due diligence for the sake of the community, or whatever, so I downvoted this post. Note that I’m a newer user of Less Wrong who isn’t very familiar with Mr. Newsome’s history of shenanigans on this website. So, I didn’t have an automatic reaction to cringe, or something, when I encountered this piece. I downvoted this post based upon its own, singular lack of merit.
Mr. Newsome, here is some criticism I hope you appreciate.
Nothing about this first chapter here is enticing me to care about ‘post-rationality’, whatever that is. Eliezer Yudkowsky took a premise everyone was familiar with, and turned it on its head during the first chapter. He used a narrative format that was familiar, and actually wrote well. While the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality didn’t immediately begin with a introduction of what the “methods of rationality” as applied to magic would be, per se, there was enough of that in the first chapter to keep others reading.
In hindsight, Mr. Yudkowsky couldn’t have expected his fan fiction to become so popular, or so widely read. The fact that it has might be biasing me into thinking that his first crack at writing the fan fiction was better than it really is.
Anyway, it seems you’re trying too much with this piece. Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality is the premise everyone here is familiar with, but you’ve done more than just turn it on its head. You’ve turned the very idea of one having a deep familiarity with the tropes on Less Wrong on its head. The first paragraph is just a blast of memes; I’m familiar with all of them, but I don’t understand what all of them mean. The first part is incoherent, and is signaling that you have the knowledge to mock (in jest) the Less Wrong community. That in itself isn’t clever, and the rest of the piece isn’t clever enough as a parody to keep us, the readers, engaged.
I perceive the second part of this chapter to be a bit funny, but it doesn’t build upon anything to get me to care. I don’t believe it will be sustainable to have Potter-Yudkowsky be aware that he is in a meta-fan-fiction. If the protagonist confronts you, the author, as the controller of the world he is simulated within, he can at best only engage with a caricature of yourself as you’ve written it. It’s difficult for me to think of how you would handle that without it becoming boring, lest you’re very talented, and creative. If Potter-Yudkowsky realizes he can use his awareness to gain superpowers, that destroys the suspension of disbelief in the fantasy world the reader immerses themselves in quickly, which would also be boring. Finally, based upon how this chapter has played out, it would be difficult to maintain great continuity into the next chapter, which I would personally find frustrating, and challenging, as a reader.
This reads as the first part of some absurdist fiction. Still, it contains little foresight. The fact that you were drunk at the time this chapter was written, and posted, leads me to suspect that such an aspect made you want to post something which would be entertaining to yourself, but wasn’t crafted with much thought to how it would be received by whatever readership you were hoping for.
In short, this doesn’t strike me as a direct parody of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, but a parody of the rationalist community itself(?). That’s such an odd thing to do that I find it off-putting, and I consider it this piece’s undoing.
It seems to me you’re aware of your own writing, compared to the body of fiction you’re already familiar with, such that you know how to write in the typical style, or cadence, of long-form narratives. That is, you can, or could, write good fiction. I don’t even know that you need to work on your style. Maybe what you need to hone is the broader strokes of planning a piece with a consistent theme, or structure, that would be appealing to the readership you’re hoping for. Obviously, from among the rationalist community is the readership you’re aiming for. Presumably, you have the knowledge to produce funny content that would be better appreciated. Starting on FanFiction.net might be the place to start.
Thanks for the criticism, you’re the first person to give me useful advice. Honestly you probably put more effort into writing this comment than I put into writing my chapter. I really appreciate it. I’ll keep a tab open for this comment next time I attempt to write some fiction.
You’re welcome.
I think “P!=NPC” would have been better.