I also disagree with the first paragraph. If I have a daughter someday, I’m not going to treat her as gender-neutral-it’s too much work and probably wouldn’t work. I guess I just think that the examples in the second group aren’t “gender identity” examples. At most they’re gender stereotypes. I will treat my daughter as a girl, unless she tells me not to, but I’ll happily climb trees with her, I wouldn’t tell her to be polite because “girls are polite” (boys should be too!) and I won’t encourage or expect her to be upset rather than angry.
I also disagree with the first paragraph. If I have a daughter someday, I’m not going to treat her as gender-neutral-it’s too much work and probably wouldn’t work. I guess I just think that the examples in the second group aren’t “gender identity” examples. At most they’re gender stereotypes. I will treat my daughter as a girl, unless she tells me not to, but I’ll happily climb trees with her, I wouldn’t tell her to be polite because “girls are polite” (boys should be too!) and I won’t encourage or expect her to be upset rather than angry.