I think both are offensive because they’re implying that the child should see themselves as only valuable if they can fulfill hypothetical strangers’ wants. It’s also off-key because the focus is on getting married rather than on the more important aspect of having a good marriage.
How does “If you don’t learn to do household repairs and tech support, no woman will want to stay married to you” come off?
I think it’s positing getting married as what would be called a terminal value here, or what I’ve also heard called an uncontexted absolute. I don’t know whether there’s any more accessible way of phrasing the idea of something which is posited to be so important that other considerations should be ignored.
I would say that the advice for the girl is somewhat more offensive because it’s less true. Unless I’ve missed something, cooking is a much less important part of courtship than it used to be. Once upon a time, most of what a married man ate would be cooked by his wife, but it hasn’t been like that for a while.
Mind you, it would be a different and possibly better world if people took helpmeet considerations more seriously before getting married—while you aren’t necessarily dependent on your spouse’s cooking, you will probably need your spouse to wrangle medical personnel for you at some time.
I think both are offensive because they’re implying that the child should see themselves as only valuable if they can fulfill hypothetical strangers’ wants.
Do you get offended by the many articles floating around in recent months that deplore the dearth of “marriageable men”? Are you offended by the fact that a Google search for “marriageable men” returns about 8x more hits than a search for “marriageable women”?
I think both are offensive because they’re implying that the child should see themselves as only valuable if they can fulfill hypothetical strangers’ wants. It’s also off-key because the focus is on getting married rather than on the more important aspect of having a good marriage.
How does “If you don’t learn to do household repairs and tech support, no woman will want to stay married to you” come off?
I think it’s positing getting married as what would be called a terminal value here, or what I’ve also heard called an uncontexted absolute. I don’t know whether there’s any more accessible way of phrasing the idea of something which is posited to be so important that other considerations should be ignored.
I would say that the advice for the girl is somewhat more offensive because it’s less true. Unless I’ve missed something, cooking is a much less important part of courtship than it used to be. Once upon a time, most of what a married man ate would be cooked by his wife, but it hasn’t been like that for a while.
Mind you, it would be a different and possibly better world if people took helpmeet considerations more seriously before getting married—while you aren’t necessarily dependent on your spouse’s cooking, you will probably need your spouse to wrangle medical personnel for you at some time.
Discussion of traits, including a degree of self-sufficiency, which make people better company
Do you get offended by the many articles floating around in recent months that deplore the dearth of “marriageable men”? Are you offended by the fact that a Google search for “marriageable men” returns about 8x more hits than a search for “marriageable women”?