For examples of my walking my talk, here are a couple of cases where someone said something critical of the goals I’m shooting for, and I thanked them and asked the to elaborate:
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e26/who_wants_to_start_an_important_startup/77e3
This post is about starting start-ups, and her comment discusses reasons why it might be a bad idea. I easily could have gotten defensive and argued with her. What I did instead was to recognized that a lot of people have similar doubts, and to thank her for expressing those doubts and trying despite them, validating that she was trying despite her concerns—my hope was to encourage more people with similar concerns.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e26/who_wants_to_start_an_important_startup/78ij
This is another example of someone talking on this post I started with the goal of starting start-ups, about how most start ups fail. Also in this case, I expressed gratitude, and it gave the the chance to elaborate a response to concerns that many people have, without invalidating the concern.
Also, as noted in the comments on that second link, I had several people give me very harsh feedback while I was in the process of writing this post. As an example, a friend predicted:
“No startup cofounder at any point in the future will say that their ideas were partially inspired by this post, unless it’s an extremely distant relation. To a first approximation, nothing happens.”
Largely because of the training I’ve had in how to deal with negative feedback, I did not get (very ;) defensive, and I quizzed these people about what I could do that would give the post the best chance of working. I do think it is because of my doing this, and these people being kind enough to give me their honest feedback even though they were concerned about what my reactions might be, that this post has been as successful as it has been. Its early yet to see if start-ups succeed, but I know of several people taking initial steps, and I’m optimistic that these discussions that are happening will have positive impact on a lot of people.
I intentionally picked examples dated prior to your post. Usually I would not bother to justify myself like this but I’ve decided that I like you.
Of course there are times when I disagree, also, and will continue to disagree until somebody gets somewhere or the discussion is lost to the sands of time. But I will not continue disagreement I don’t see a way to make the disagreement constructive. If I don’t think that it’s likely for me to get through to a person, I will choose my battles with them.
For examples of my walking my talk, here are a couple of cases where someone said something critical of the goals I’m shooting for, and I thanked them and asked the to elaborate:
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e26/who_wants_to_start_an_important_startup/77e3 This post is about starting start-ups, and her comment discusses reasons why it might be a bad idea. I easily could have gotten defensive and argued with her. What I did instead was to recognized that a lot of people have similar doubts, and to thank her for expressing those doubts and trying despite them, validating that she was trying despite her concerns—my hope was to encourage more people with similar concerns.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e26/who_wants_to_start_an_important_startup/78ij This is another example of someone talking on this post I started with the goal of starting start-ups, about how most start ups fail. Also in this case, I expressed gratitude, and it gave the the chance to elaborate a response to concerns that many people have, without invalidating the concern.
Also, as noted in the comments on that second link, I had several people give me very harsh feedback while I was in the process of writing this post. As an example, a friend predicted:
“No startup cofounder at any point in the future will say that their ideas were partially inspired by this post, unless it’s an extremely distant relation. To a first approximation, nothing happens.”
Largely because of the training I’ve had in how to deal with negative feedback, I did not get (very ;) defensive, and I quizzed these people about what I could do that would give the post the best chance of working. I do think it is because of my doing this, and these people being kind enough to give me their honest feedback even though they were concerned about what my reactions might be, that this post has been as successful as it has been. Its early yet to see if start-ups succeed, but I know of several people taking initial steps, and I’m optimistic that these discussions that are happening will have positive impact on a lot of people.
I do:
Please critique
You had a good point in your suggestion so I changed my “100% good” statement.
Oops sorry.
You’re going against the grain—not a bad thing but it means you’re going to have to really lay out your reasons if you want to change the way the wind is blowing. Elaborate, please.
I invite brutal honesty on everything I wrote there.
I intentionally picked examples dated prior to your post. Usually I would not bother to justify myself like this but I’ve decided that I like you.
Of course there are times when I disagree, also, and will continue to disagree until somebody gets somewhere or the discussion is lost to the sands of time. But I will not continue disagreement I don’t see a way to make the disagreement constructive. If I don’t think that it’s likely for me to get through to a person, I will choose my battles with them.