In conversations, I’ll try to focus on shared areas of interest, cultivate a curiosity towards their preferences, or use the whole interaction as an exercise to try and see how far I can bridge the inferential gap towards things I’m interested in. And this ends up working fairly well in practice.
Yeah, this is pretty much what I do, too. (Well, when I remember to do this.) But “how far I can bridge the inferential gap towards things I’m interested in” usually doesn’t get far before things get rounded to nearest cliche.
The problem is to keep remembering that I cannot say anything “weird”. Which includes almost everything I am interested at. Which includes even the way I look at things other people happen to be also interested about.
As an approximation, when I successfully suppress most of what makes me me, and channel my inner ELIZA, sometimes I even receive feedback on having good social skills. Doing this doesn’t feel emotionally satisfying to me, though.
Yeah, this is pretty much what I do, too. (Well, when I remember to do this.) But “how far I can bridge the inferential gap towards things I’m interested in” usually doesn’t get far before things get rounded to nearest cliche.
The problem is to keep remembering that I cannot say anything “weird”. Which includes almost everything I am interested at. Which includes even the way I look at things other people happen to be also interested about.
As an approximation, when I successfully suppress most of what makes me me, and channel my inner ELIZA, sometimes I even receive feedback on having good social skills. Doing this doesn’t feel emotionally satisfying to me, though.