That disagreement over priority is not resolved by any acceptance of emotion, only by acceptance of the facts.
It would be helpful if people would explain themselves when they did something that seemed reasonable to them at the time, or were working under constraints that were not obvious to the disappointed person—or simply took disappointing someone as an opportunity to talk about adjusting future expectations.
“Submission” is an explanation for why people often don’t bother to do this, and try to simply accept a lowered status. This behavior only makes sense if it is sometimes adaptive. And the simplest explanation for why it is adaptive, is that in their experience it’s often been what the disappointed/angry person wants.
“Submission” is an explanation for why people often don’t bother to do this, and try to simply accept a lowered status. This behavior only makes sense if it is sometimes adaptive. And the simplest explanation for why it is adaptive, is that in their experience it’s often been what the disappointed/angry person wants.
Well, yeah. The vast majority of such fights would be far more painful if the perpetrator said “yup, I found something better to do; this is not as important to me as it is to you” than the social fiction of apologizing and claiming weakness.
It would be helpful if people would explain themselves when they did something that seemed reasonable to them at the time, or were working under constraints that were not obvious to the disappointed person—or simply took disappointing someone as an opportunity to talk about adjusting future expectations.
“Submission” is an explanation for why people often don’t bother to do this, and try to simply accept a lowered status. This behavior only makes sense if it is sometimes adaptive. And the simplest explanation for why it is adaptive, is that in their experience it’s often been what the disappointed/angry person wants.
Well, yeah. The vast majority of such fights would be far more painful if the perpetrator said “yup, I found something better to do; this is not as important to me as it is to you” than the social fiction of apologizing and claiming weakness.