I additionally wonder if you’ve read, and would be interested in your commentary on, meadow theory, as it relates to the above.
Especially:
That way all that frightening, confusing, complicated, implicit human emotion and relationship stuff that I don’t understand could be made explicit and easy for me to navigate with no uncertainty (and I am extremely, indeed probably pathologically, risk-averse, which may be related): just follow written rules!
… though obviously you have no obligation to read or respond.
Sorry I didn’t respond before, I didn’t notice your second reply somehow!
I just read the meadow theory post, and tbh, I find it quite opaque and it’s unclear what you’re trying to say. You started with a metaphor without really clearly expressing what it’s a metaphor for, and it has that “Eliezer using colorful pseudo-zen stories to try to sound deep and impressive so people will respect him more” energy which always irks me a bit (and which I have noticed others in this community have semi-subconsciously learned to mimic for follow-the-leader social credit points, which also irks me a bit). I basically agree with ambigram’s comment, in other words.
That said, I feel as if there is some value in it. I’m just… really not sure what. I can see why you think it’s relevant to that specific quote from me, but I’m not sure what to say about that. If I had to guess, the point here is that you think I’m (to use what I understood of the symbols in the post) not running around enough because I’m too worried about running into posts due to my being (or believing I am) comparatively more “blinded” than other people and not having a healthy parent / internalized parental image to point them out to me?
My sense was more “MSRayne has run into various posts, for a variety of reasons including people misleading them about where the posts are, and this is why it’s extremely sensible that they want very clear and unambiguous maps from other people about where those other people’s posts/boundaries are.”
Ah. Yes. It’s fun when your parent who protects you from posts, and the posts themselves, are the exact same entity. Growing up like that has probably permanently damaged my mental health and ability to function properly in human society, since everything that for them would be a surefire predictor of danger is totally innocuous in the majority of other people. My prior for humans is “narcissist pretending to be kind in order to get something out of me.”
Ah, and now I see what you meant about worlds. The thing is, the fact that we have differing life experience doesn’t actually provide me any evidence that I’m wrong. I’m not sure what evidence that I’m wrong there would even look like; my paranoia could explain away any amount of it.
I need to be careful though. Take anything I say about my own psychology with several grains of salt—it changes with my mood and everything I say about myself is a conjecture due to having basically no idea what is actually going on below the surface of my own brain most of the time. It’s entirely possible that I don’t automatically assume people are narcissists out to get me, but just think that I assume that when I’m already primed with the idea of paranoia. This is where I go into spirals.
I additionally wonder if you’ve read, and would be interested in your commentary on, meadow theory, as it relates to the above.
Especially:
… though obviously you have no obligation to read or respond.
Sorry I didn’t respond before, I didn’t notice your second reply somehow!
I just read the meadow theory post, and tbh, I find it quite opaque and it’s unclear what you’re trying to say. You started with a metaphor without really clearly expressing what it’s a metaphor for, and it has that “Eliezer using colorful pseudo-zen stories to try to sound deep and impressive so people will respect him more” energy which always irks me a bit (and which I have noticed others in this community have semi-subconsciously learned to mimic for follow-the-leader social credit points, which also irks me a bit). I basically agree with ambigram’s comment, in other words.
That said, I feel as if there is some value in it. I’m just… really not sure what. I can see why you think it’s relevant to that specific quote from me, but I’m not sure what to say about that. If I had to guess, the point here is that you think I’m (to use what I understood of the symbols in the post) not running around enough because I’m too worried about running into posts due to my being (or believing I am) comparatively more “blinded” than other people and not having a healthy parent / internalized parental image to point them out to me?
My sense was more “MSRayne has run into various posts, for a variety of reasons including people misleading them about where the posts are, and this is why it’s extremely sensible that they want very clear and unambiguous maps from other people about where those other people’s posts/boundaries are.”
Ah. Yes. It’s fun when your parent who protects you from posts, and the posts themselves, are the exact same entity. Growing up like that has probably permanently damaged my mental health and ability to function properly in human society, since everything that for them would be a surefire predictor of danger is totally innocuous in the majority of other people. My prior for humans is “narcissist pretending to be kind in order to get something out of me.”
Ah, and now I see what you meant about worlds. The thing is, the fact that we have differing life experience doesn’t actually provide me any evidence that I’m wrong. I’m not sure what evidence that I’m wrong there would even look like; my paranoia could explain away any amount of it.
I need to be careful though. Take anything I say about my own psychology with several grains of salt—it changes with my mood and everything I say about myself is a conjecture due to having basically no idea what is actually going on below the surface of my own brain most of the time. It’s entirely possible that I don’t automatically assume people are narcissists out to get me, but just think that I assume that when I’m already primed with the idea of paranoia. This is where I go into spirals.