This blog post by the old okcupid team (before they were bought by matchgroup) seems to be pretty strongly advocating for playing up the unique ways you are attractive, and not trying to play up all the ways you are average possibly to the detriment of your elo.
I certainly have found this to be a top tier resource when thinking about dating app meta and was somewhat surprised to not see it referenced.
Thank you, I am familiar with that post. Their explanation is:
Suppose you’re a man who’s really into someone. If you suspect other men are uninterested, it means less competition. You therefore have an added incentive to send a message. You might start thinking: maybe she’s lonely. . . maybe she’s just waiting to find a guy who appreciates her. . . at least I won’t get lost in the crowd. . . maybe these small thoughts, plus the fact that you really think she’s hot, prod you to action. You send her the perfectly crafted opening message.
On Tinder/bumble/etc. it’s just as costly to swipe left as it is to swipe right. I don’t think people are as likely to factor in likelihood of success when swiping as they are when deciding to invest the time to send a message. (One exception is super likes, but I’m skeptical that one should optimize their profile for super likes.)
Also, to the extent that one thinks this theory is valid, I don’t think the resulting advice is to “play up unique ways you are attractive” – instead, it’s to signal in your profile that you are attracted to people who are conventionally unattractive (e.g. “thicc thighs save lives”) and still be conventionally attractive yourself.
Have you read https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/themathematicsofbeauty.html
This blog post by the old okcupid team (before they were bought by matchgroup) seems to be pretty strongly advocating for playing up the unique ways you are attractive, and not trying to play up all the ways you are average possibly to the detriment of your elo.
I certainly have found this to be a top tier resource when thinking about dating app meta and was somewhat surprised to not see it referenced.
Thank you, I am familiar with that post. Their explanation is:
On Tinder/bumble/etc. it’s just as costly to swipe left as it is to swipe right. I don’t think people are as likely to factor in likelihood of success when swiping as they are when deciding to invest the time to send a message. (One exception is super likes, but I’m skeptical that one should optimize their profile for super likes.)
Also, to the extent that one thinks this theory is valid, I don’t think the resulting advice is to “play up unique ways you are attractive” – instead, it’s to signal in your profile that you are attracted to people who are conventionally unattractive (e.g. “thicc thighs save lives”) and still be conventionally attractive yourself.