But this is simply not a tough-love, hostile environment. It isn’t that kind of blog. It doesn’t fit with the posts—it certainly doesn’t fit with Eliezer’s writing. The norm around here seems to be that suffering and fear are real and that we ought to help people who endure such things. (Isn’t that humanism in a nutshell?) There are plenty of places on the internet where people like to shock and offend. This site does something different, something less common, and perhaps more valuable. Can we keep it that way?
You write as if a rational discussion must end up in conclusions that are pleasant, calming, and reassuring, and if some claims in a discussion disturb and offend, they cannot simply follow from a straightforward and open-minded inquiry into a sensitive topic, and there must be some malice involved. But this is clearly not so. Just imagine how billions of religious folks on this planet would react if you threw the anti-religious diatribes regularly written here, by Eliezer Yudkowsky as well as many others, into their faces.
Now, you can argue that in some areas of inquiry, the truth is so awful and inflammatory that it’s better to stay away from them because it keeps the website a better place to discuss other interesting things. However, if you’re going to argue that, then you must admit that some people’s idiosyncratic sensitivities and propensities for offense should be privileged over others. Mind you, I think that it is a defensible position, but it’s absolutely fallacious to advocate such limitations while denying this fact.
Yes, you can shut down a dialogue all too easily by claiming to be hurt. But I don’t want to discount the possibility that Alicorn actually is hurt—in which case why do you want to hurt her? Let’s not, please.
Could you please be more specific? Are you saying that my above comment reads like a personal attack, or that some general claim I advanced is hurtful? I honestly didn’t mean to take a jab at any particular person, not in that comment, nor anywhere else.
Vladimir, I got my mind changed about religion, in large part by LessWrong. I learned here not to be afraid of truth. That message would not have gotten across as clearly if there were not a dominant tone of warmth and compassion on this site.
Whatever is true, is true. I’m not saying we shouldn’t seek it out. I’m not saying we should fear an awful truth or hush it up.
I’m saying we go about things differently from how Roissy goes about things, and that’s helpful. You described women as being tough enough to take a much more offensive tone—I’m saying that an offensive tone isn’t helpful. There is such a thing as honesty without snark.
No, it wasn’t your comment that reads like a personal attack. Alicorn made a previous comment when she said that asking her to change her sexual preferences made her feel less safe. I don’t think we should be using this site to frighten people. You do not reason with people by arousing those emotions.
I’m saying we go about things differently from how Roissy goes about things, and that’s helpful. You described women as being tough enough to take a much more offensive tone—I’m saying that an offensive tone isn’t helpful. There is such a thing as honesty without snark.
This is where our misunderstanding probably lies. My mention of Roissy was an argumentum a fortiori, meant to disprove the hypothesis that the tone of sex-related discussions here is so insensitive that it drives great masses of women away, by pointing out that there are places whose tone is incomparably more insensitive, and yet they have comment sections with far more women participating. I wasn’t advocating the introduction of Roissyesque style as the standard of discourse here; there is indeed a time and place for everything.
That said, it should be noted that the quality of discourse can be ruined not only by people who write with an insensitive tone, but also by people who amp up their sensitivity to eleven, and as soon as certain topics are opened, frantically look for a pretext to plead insufferable shock and offense. Honestly, would you say that this phenomenon has been altogether absent from the controversies on this site you’ve seen?
(Again, please read this only as a statement about generalities, not an implicit personal attack on whoever might come to mind.)
SarahC:
Here I must point to another highly pertinent comment of mine:
http://lesswrong.com/lw/2l8/existential_risk_and_public_relations/2g3z
You write as if a rational discussion must end up in conclusions that are pleasant, calming, and reassuring, and if some claims in a discussion disturb and offend, they cannot simply follow from a straightforward and open-minded inquiry into a sensitive topic, and there must be some malice involved. But this is clearly not so. Just imagine how billions of religious folks on this planet would react if you threw the anti-religious diatribes regularly written here, by Eliezer Yudkowsky as well as many others, into their faces.
Now, you can argue that in some areas of inquiry, the truth is so awful and inflammatory that it’s better to stay away from them because it keeps the website a better place to discuss other interesting things. However, if you’re going to argue that, then you must admit that some people’s idiosyncratic sensitivities and propensities for offense should be privileged over others. Mind you, I think that it is a defensible position, but it’s absolutely fallacious to advocate such limitations while denying this fact.
Could you please be more specific? Are you saying that my above comment reads like a personal attack, or that some general claim I advanced is hurtful? I honestly didn’t mean to take a jab at any particular person, not in that comment, nor anywhere else.
Vladimir, I got my mind changed about religion, in large part by LessWrong. I learned here not to be afraid of truth. That message would not have gotten across as clearly if there were not a dominant tone of warmth and compassion on this site.
Whatever is true, is true. I’m not saying we shouldn’t seek it out. I’m not saying we should fear an awful truth or hush it up.
I’m saying we go about things differently from how Roissy goes about things, and that’s helpful. You described women as being tough enough to take a much more offensive tone—I’m saying that an offensive tone isn’t helpful. There is such a thing as honesty without snark.
No, it wasn’t your comment that reads like a personal attack. Alicorn made a previous comment when she said that asking her to change her sexual preferences made her feel less safe. I don’t think we should be using this site to frighten people. You do not reason with people by arousing those emotions.
SarahC:
This is where our misunderstanding probably lies. My mention of Roissy was an argumentum a fortiori, meant to disprove the hypothesis that the tone of sex-related discussions here is so insensitive that it drives great masses of women away, by pointing out that there are places whose tone is incomparably more insensitive, and yet they have comment sections with far more women participating. I wasn’t advocating the introduction of Roissyesque style as the standard of discourse here; there is indeed a time and place for everything.
That said, it should be noted that the quality of discourse can be ruined not only by people who write with an insensitive tone, but also by people who amp up their sensitivity to eleven, and as soon as certain topics are opened, frantically look for a pretext to plead insufferable shock and offense. Honestly, would you say that this phenomenon has been altogether absent from the controversies on this site you’ve seen?
(Again, please read this only as a statement about generalities, not an implicit personal attack on whoever might come to mind.)
Maybe we should have a norm of just ROT13ing anything potentially offensive?