Vladimir, I got my mind changed about religion, in large part by LessWrong. I learned here not to be afraid of truth. That message would not have gotten across as clearly if there were not a dominant tone of warmth and compassion on this site.
Whatever is true, is true. I’m not saying we shouldn’t seek it out. I’m not saying we should fear an awful truth or hush it up.
I’m saying we go about things differently from how Roissy goes about things, and that’s helpful. You described women as being tough enough to take a much more offensive tone—I’m saying that an offensive tone isn’t helpful. There is such a thing as honesty without snark.
No, it wasn’t your comment that reads like a personal attack. Alicorn made a previous comment when she said that asking her to change her sexual preferences made her feel less safe. I don’t think we should be using this site to frighten people. You do not reason with people by arousing those emotions.
I’m saying we go about things differently from how Roissy goes about things, and that’s helpful. You described women as being tough enough to take a much more offensive tone—I’m saying that an offensive tone isn’t helpful. There is such a thing as honesty without snark.
This is where our misunderstanding probably lies. My mention of Roissy was an argumentum a fortiori, meant to disprove the hypothesis that the tone of sex-related discussions here is so insensitive that it drives great masses of women away, by pointing out that there are places whose tone is incomparably more insensitive, and yet they have comment sections with far more women participating. I wasn’t advocating the introduction of Roissyesque style as the standard of discourse here; there is indeed a time and place for everything.
That said, it should be noted that the quality of discourse can be ruined not only by people who write with an insensitive tone, but also by people who amp up their sensitivity to eleven, and as soon as certain topics are opened, frantically look for a pretext to plead insufferable shock and offense. Honestly, would you say that this phenomenon has been altogether absent from the controversies on this site you’ve seen?
(Again, please read this only as a statement about generalities, not an implicit personal attack on whoever might come to mind.)
Vladimir, I got my mind changed about religion, in large part by LessWrong. I learned here not to be afraid of truth. That message would not have gotten across as clearly if there were not a dominant tone of warmth and compassion on this site.
Whatever is true, is true. I’m not saying we shouldn’t seek it out. I’m not saying we should fear an awful truth or hush it up.
I’m saying we go about things differently from how Roissy goes about things, and that’s helpful. You described women as being tough enough to take a much more offensive tone—I’m saying that an offensive tone isn’t helpful. There is such a thing as honesty without snark.
No, it wasn’t your comment that reads like a personal attack. Alicorn made a previous comment when she said that asking her to change her sexual preferences made her feel less safe. I don’t think we should be using this site to frighten people. You do not reason with people by arousing those emotions.
SarahC:
This is where our misunderstanding probably lies. My mention of Roissy was an argumentum a fortiori, meant to disprove the hypothesis that the tone of sex-related discussions here is so insensitive that it drives great masses of women away, by pointing out that there are places whose tone is incomparably more insensitive, and yet they have comment sections with far more women participating. I wasn’t advocating the introduction of Roissyesque style as the standard of discourse here; there is indeed a time and place for everything.
That said, it should be noted that the quality of discourse can be ruined not only by people who write with an insensitive tone, but also by people who amp up their sensitivity to eleven, and as soon as certain topics are opened, frantically look for a pretext to plead insufferable shock and offense. Honestly, would you say that this phenomenon has been altogether absent from the controversies on this site you’ve seen?
(Again, please read this only as a statement about generalities, not an implicit personal attack on whoever might come to mind.)
Maybe we should have a norm of just ROT13ing anything potentially offensive?