Another managed to learn to detach himself emotionally from whatever is going on at the meetings, by treating his family as low-level NPCs . . .
Do you know where I might find information about implementing this technique? It sounds really useful. Did your friend follow some methodology for accomplishing this?
Point well taken! However, this still seems like a potentially useful skill to have when you must interact with someone but wish to defend yourself emotionally.
I don’t know of any sources he used. This is one of those hard self-modifications that require highly developed emotional intelligence and introspection skills.
I know that when I tried to do something like that (not getting annoyed at a person for constantly bringing up the same settled point over and over for years), I failed. Basically, the feeling of annoyance flares up before I have a chance to consciously deconstruct it. I managed to quell it quicker, but not prevent it from happening. I tried preparing myself for the situation in advance, but that only made it worse, as I would get annoyed and upset during the simulation, as well. Actually alieving that a person close to you is basically a moist robot is hard.
Might it help to think of the person as running on habit about a particular subject or in response to a particular stimulus rather than them being pseudo-conscious in general?
Sometimes I find myself feeling frustrated with other people when they hold moral views that seem to me obviously misguided and even atrocious. “That’s terrible!” I think to myself. “How can someone have such a backwards or barbaric opinion?” Examples abound, whether the issue is religious fundamentalism or social conservatism or willingness to increase suffering in order to create additional happiness.
There is a famous, alas almost platitudinous, quotation from To Kill a Mockingbird in which Atticus says “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” I find this really helps in the case of moral disagreement. As much as I may not see eye to eye with someone, I can, for a second, imagine myself as that person—complete with his/her memories, neural wiring, and emotions. That person grew up with certain genes, was socialized in a certain environment, and has developed certain reactions. If I were that person, I can see how I would take exactly the same actions and hold exactly the same sentiments. This gives me a sense of humility and compassion, because I can realize that, “Oh yeah, this person is just executing his/her motivational drives the way I am. It’s sad that we disagree, but we’re both fundamentally in the same spot—doing what we’re wired to do.”
Such “intrapsychic” strategies seldom work for me, however. I find the “extrapsychic” approach of just avoiding irritating people much more effective. (This may require terminating a relationship which, if maintained, would expose you to such people on a regular basis.)
Do you know where I might find information about implementing this technique? It sounds really useful. Did your friend follow some methodology for accomplishing this?
Keep in mind that the definition of a sociopath is more or less “one who treats other people as low-level NPCs”.
Indeed, and people would do well to remember that there may be situations wherein you are in fact the relatively “low-level NPC”.
Also known as “the mark”. The good news is that you are rarely aware of being one.
I am not sure this is good news from the standpoint of consequences...
Point well taken! However, this still seems like a potentially useful skill to have when you must interact with someone but wish to defend yourself emotionally.
I don’t know of any sources he used. This is one of those hard self-modifications that require highly developed emotional intelligence and introspection skills.
I know that when I tried to do something like that (not getting annoyed at a person for constantly bringing up the same settled point over and over for years), I failed. Basically, the feeling of annoyance flares up before I have a chance to consciously deconstruct it. I managed to quell it quicker, but not prevent it from happening. I tried preparing myself for the situation in advance, but that only made it worse, as I would get annoyed and upset during the simulation, as well. Actually alieving that a person close to you is basically a moist robot is hard.
Might it help to think of the person as running on habit about a particular subject or in response to a particular stimulus rather than them being pseudo-conscious in general?
Brian Tomasik gives some tips in a recent essay:
Such “intrapsychic” strategies seldom work for me, however. I find the “extrapsychic” approach of just avoiding irritating people much more effective. (This may require terminating a relationship which, if maintained, would expose you to such people on a regular basis.)