My heart goes out to you. Unfortunately, prior experience both dealing with losses in my own family and with losses in friends’ families has made clear that there’s really nothing one can adequately say in these situations. So instead I’ll offer what may be a helpful observation: some people who have never lost someone think that eventually one will get over a death of someone close to you. That’s really not true. Years can go by, and then you’ll happen to think of the loved one, and it will hit you all over again. This becomes less frequent as time goes on, but it never really stops.
Sounds like experiences may vary somewhat: it does “hit me all over again” from time to time, but the impact when it hits me does lessen with time. If being “over it” means zero pain then that’s too much to expect, but if it means having integrated the fact of it into ones view of the world, if it means no longer being surprised at the memory of it, then that does happen at least sometimes.
My heart goes out to you. Unfortunately, prior experience both dealing with losses in my own family and with losses in friends’ families has made clear that there’s really nothing one can adequately say in these situations. So instead I’ll offer what may be a helpful observation: some people who have never lost someone think that eventually one will get over a death of someone close to you. That’s really not true. Years can go by, and then you’ll happen to think of the loved one, and it will hit you all over again. This becomes less frequent as time goes on, but it never really stops.
Sounds like experiences may vary somewhat: it does “hit me all over again” from time to time, but the impact when it hits me does lessen with time. If being “over it” means zero pain then that’s too much to expect, but if it means having integrated the fact of it into ones view of the world, if it means no longer being surprised at the memory of it, then that does happen at least sometimes.
Thank you.