Both choosing a career and choosing a mate seem to suffer from this weird expectation of finding the one that fits me perfectly. This sort of thinking has always been very alien to me, and to this day I don’t understand what causes it. I suppose media has something to do with it.
I think that career/mate are both huge decisions. Both will be a huge part of your life for ~50 years!!! If you could improve your career/mate even a little bit, the impact is multiplied by this large duration of time… thus making career/mate decisions important, and worthy of a lot of thought.
Still, I don’t think it’s worthy of so much thought that you should be looking for a perfect fit. The chances of a perfect fit happening are small enough to outweigh the huge reward.
Also, I would say that people look for a mate/career that they think fits them perfectly, not one that actually does. And what they think is just this romantic and general idea that is based off of generalized maps that are many levels above the territory. As for how they develop these maps, I don’t have much of an idea.
It seems to me a special case of a broader habit of inferring individual agents where the reality is more distributed statistical patterns, which I expect pre-dates media in the modern sense (though I suppose we could say modern media has something to do with it in the sense of reinforcing a pre-existing tendency, if we wanted).
Both choosing a career and choosing a mate seem to suffer from this weird expectation of finding the one that fits me perfectly. This sort of thinking has always been very alien to me, and to this day I don’t understand what causes it. I suppose media has something to do with it.
I think that career/mate are both huge decisions. Both will be a huge part of your life for ~50 years!!! If you could improve your career/mate even a little bit, the impact is multiplied by this large duration of time… thus making career/mate decisions important, and worthy of a lot of thought.
Still, I don’t think it’s worthy of so much thought that you should be looking for a perfect fit. The chances of a perfect fit happening are small enough to outweigh the huge reward.
Also, I would say that people look for a mate/career that they think fits them perfectly, not one that actually does. And what they think is just this romantic and general idea that is based off of generalized maps that are many levels above the territory. As for how they develop these maps, I don’t have much of an idea.
It seems to me a special case of a broader habit of inferring individual agents where the reality is more distributed statistical patterns, which I expect pre-dates media in the modern sense (though I suppose we could say modern media has something to do with it in the sense of reinforcing a pre-existing tendency, if we wanted).