and that it has made me stronger and more fun to interact with. (And better at reading people.)
Not saying you’re wrong, but one reason I’m skeptical about “practices” is that they often seem to make people overvalue them. Have you seen Richard_Kennaway’s comment on the circling thread which compares talking with NVC folks to talking with chatbots? Also see his comment on the kensho thread describing how people’s claimed benefits from meditation are illusory.
To your last point, do you think people drink at parties to suppress their PR departments and get the ugly truth out? To me it looks more like they want a credible excuse to send certain PR messages that aren’t necessarily true, like “I’m fun and free”. That’s also part of nature’s way and I’m happy with it.
My current sense is that Qiaochu has indeed gotten more fun to interact with, and I know of at least two other cases in which I think authentic relating and related practices have helped someone be a lot more fun to be around (from my perspective). I also know of at least two cases where I experience interacting with someone as much worse than I used to, probably as a result of authentic relating. So the overall effect might just be noise, but I do think the effect size is large enough to make that somewhat unlikely.
Not saying you’re wrong, but one reason I’m skeptical about “practices” is that they often seem to make people overvalue them. Have you seen Richard_Kennaway’s comment on the circling thread which compares talking with NVC folks to talking with chatbots? Also see his comment on the kensho thread describing how people’s claimed benefits from meditation are illusory.
To your last point, do you think people drink at parties to suppress their PR departments and get the ugly truth out? To me it looks more like they want a credible excuse to send certain PR messages that aren’t necessarily true, like “I’m fun and free”. That’s also part of nature’s way and I’m happy with it.
My current sense is that Qiaochu has indeed gotten more fun to interact with, and I know of at least two other cases in which I think authentic relating and related practices have helped someone be a lot more fun to be around (from my perspective). I also know of at least two cases where I experience interacting with someone as much worse than I used to, probably as a result of authentic relating. So the overall effect might just be noise, but I do think the effect size is large enough to make that somewhat unlikely.
Thank you! This doesn’t change my mind outright (seen too many examples to the contrary) but it’s a good data point and I’ll remember it.
Went digging, and found it here:
https://www.lesserwrong.com/posts/aFyWFwGWBsP5DZbHF/circling#cgtM3SRHyFwbzBa56