I think that if Vassar tried not to destabilize people, it would heavily impede his general communication.
My suggestion for Vassar is not to ‘try not to destabilize people’ exactly.
It’s to very carefully examine his speech and its impacts, by looking at the evidence available (asking people he’s interacted with about what it’s like to listen to him) and also learning how to be open to real-time feedback (like, actually look at the person you’re speaking to as though they’re a full, real human—not a pair of ears to be talked into or a mind to insert things into). When he talks theory, I often get the sense he is talking “at” rather than talking “to” or “with”. The listener practically disappears or is reduced to a question-generating machine that gets him to keep saying things.
I expect this process could take a long time / run into issues along the way, and so I don’t think it should be rushed. Not expecting a quick change. But claiming there’s no available option seems wildly wrong to me. People aren’t fixed points and generally shouldn’t be treated as such.
This is actually very fair. I think he does kind of insert information into people.
I never really felt like a question-generating machine, more like a pupil at the foot of a teacher who is trying to integrate the teacher’s information.
I think the passive, reactive approach you mention is actually a really good idea of how to be more evidential in personal interaction without being explicitly manipulative.
It’s to very carefully examine his speech and its impacts, by looking at the evidence available (asking people he’s interacted with about what it’s like to listen to him) and also learning how to be open to real-time feedback (like, actually look at the person you’re speaking to as though they’re a full, real human—not a pair of ears to be talked into or a mind to insert things into).
I think I interacted with Vassar four times in person, so I might get some things wrong here, but I think that he’s pretty disassociated from his body which closes a normal channel of perceiving impacts on the person he’s speaking with. This thing looks to me like some bodily process generating stress / pain and being a cause for disassociation. It might need a body worker to fix whatever goes on there to create the conditions for perceiving the other person better.
Beyond that Circling might be an enviroment in which one can learn to interact with others as humans who have their own feelings but that would require opening up to the Circling frame.
My suggestion for Vassar is not to ‘try not to destabilize people’ exactly.
It’s to very carefully examine his speech and its impacts, by looking at the evidence available (asking people he’s interacted with about what it’s like to listen to him) and also learning how to be open to real-time feedback (like, actually look at the person you’re speaking to as though they’re a full, real human—not a pair of ears to be talked into or a mind to insert things into). When he talks theory, I often get the sense he is talking “at” rather than talking “to” or “with”. The listener practically disappears or is reduced to a question-generating machine that gets him to keep saying things.
I expect this process could take a long time / run into issues along the way, and so I don’t think it should be rushed. Not expecting a quick change. But claiming there’s no available option seems wildly wrong to me. People aren’t fixed points and generally shouldn’t be treated as such.
This is actually very fair. I think he does kind of insert information into people.
I never really felt like a question-generating machine, more like a pupil at the foot of a teacher who is trying to integrate the teacher’s information.
I think the passive, reactive approach you mention is actually a really good idea of how to be more evidential in personal interaction without being explicitly manipulative.
Thanks!
I think I interacted with Vassar four times in person, so I might get some things wrong here, but I think that he’s pretty disassociated from his body which closes a normal channel of perceiving impacts on the person he’s speaking with. This thing looks to me like some bodily process generating stress / pain and being a cause for disassociation. It might need a body worker to fix whatever goes on there to create the conditions for perceiving the other person better.
Beyond that Circling might be an enviroment in which one can learn to interact with others as humans who have their own feelings but that would require opening up to the Circling frame.