It’s certainly possible to have toolbox smalltalk and do okay with it. Developing genuine curiosity for the other person and letting that curiosity guide your questions is both more fun and more likely to create a connection.
The toolbox gives you a starting point; it’s not meant to be the entirety of the conversation, but rather starting points. It’s relatively easy to maintain a conversation, harder to start one. Curiosity doesn’t begin until you have something to be curious about in the first place.
I agree that PUA doesn’t give people what they’re looking for, most of my comment was intended to explain why. (Short summary: It’s about sex, not conversation.)
When standing at a bus stop are you asking a stranger: “What do you do for a living?”
To me that doesn’t seem like a good conversation starter.
“Do you know in many minutes the bus will arrive” can be a curiosity based question, that’s socially acceptable to ask.
I’m standing next to a stranger and that question comes into my mind, I notice that I have a question were I’m interested in the answer. I can either look at my phone and look at the bus timetable to figure out the answer or I can ask the other person.
There are many instances like that were you can choose the social way to deal with the situation.
I agree that PUA doesn’t give people what they’re looking for, most of my comment was intended to explain why. (Short summary: It’s about sex, not conversation.)
I think even for people who think they want sex, it often doesn’t deliver on it’s promise.
The toolbox gives you a starting point; it’s not meant to be the entirety of the conversation, but rather starting points. It’s relatively easy to maintain a conversation, harder to start one. Curiosity doesn’t begin until you have something to be curious about in the first place.
I agree that PUA doesn’t give people what they’re looking for, most of my comment was intended to explain why. (Short summary: It’s about sex, not conversation.)
When standing at a bus stop are you asking a stranger: “What do you do for a living?” To me that doesn’t seem like a good conversation starter.
“Do you know in many minutes the bus will arrive” can be a curiosity based question, that’s socially acceptable to ask. I’m standing next to a stranger and that question comes into my mind, I notice that I have a question were I’m interested in the answer. I can either look at my phone and look at the bus timetable to figure out the answer or I can ask the other person.
There are many instances like that were you can choose the social way to deal with the situation.
I think even for people who think they want sex, it often doesn’t deliver on it’s promise.