You of course have all the right to be insulted but if you can’t hide it you might make their fear a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
Wait, what? Are you equating being offended at someone implying that you’re a violent asshole, with actually being a violent asshole?
Doesn’t that sort of equation make most insults into self-fulfilling prophecies? “I called her a bitch, and she got angry! Thus proving my point!” “I told him he was a moron, and he got insulted! What a moron for not realizing that he’s a moron!”
It might help to alleviate the insult to remember that these kinds of judgements might be more a result of flawed heuristics that evolution spawned than deliberate reasoning. People can be quite clueless of what they’re afraid of, especially in complex situations that all social situations happen to be.
Yes, that’s true. The less self-aware, rational, and generally intelligent a person is, the less insulted I am when they think poorly of me.
Someone witholds information from you because they’re afraid you might get hostile. You think they should think more highly of you and get offended. You facial expressions and your tone of voice signal the person you’re angry. Which way do you think this will affect their mostly subconscious estimation of your potential hostility in the case of volunteering the information?
I’m not trying to justify any behavior, I was referring to witholding information.
Wait, what? Are you equating being offended at someone implying that you’re a violent asshole, with actually being a violent asshole?
Doesn’t that sort of equation make most insults into self-fulfilling prophecies? “I called her a bitch, and she got angry! Thus proving my point!” “I told him he was a moron, and he got insulted! What a moron for not realizing that he’s a moron!”
Yes, that’s true. The less self-aware, rational, and generally intelligent a person is, the less insulted I am when they think poorly of me.
Of course not. I’m not justifying the behavior, I’m explaining why getting insulted might be suboptimal as it might breed more of said behavior.
I don’t think I follow. Specify, please, to which behavior you refer.
Someone witholds information from you because they’re afraid you might get hostile. You think they should think more highly of you and get offended. You facial expressions and your tone of voice signal the person you’re angry. Which way do you think this will affect their mostly subconscious estimation of your potential hostility in the case of volunteering the information?
I’m not trying to justify any behavior, I was referring to witholding information.
I understand what you’re saying now, yes. (I think “self-fulfilling prophecy” is a misleading term to use to describe this, though.)
As to your question: I think this falls into the category of “person is not very self-aware or rational”.
I agree the expression doesn’t fit like a glove, just thought it was close enough. What do you think is misleading about it?
Perhaps, and the way I see it these qualities inconvenience even the best of us much of the time.