You come off as having single-standards. That is, I think the minimal level of niceness you accept from others is also the minimal level of niceness you practice—you don’t allow wiggle room for others having different standards. I sincerely don’t resent that! My model of nice people in general suggests y’all practice Postel’s law (“Be liberal in what you accept and conservative in what you send”), but I don’t think it’s even consistent to demand that someone follow it.
extremely rude behavior (ie “I wish you were dead” or “X is crap.”)
...I’m never going to live that one down, am I? Let’s just say that there’s an enormous amount of behaviours that I’d describe as “slightly blunter than politeness would allow, for the sake of clarity” and you’d describe as “extremely rude”.
Also, while I’ve accepted the verdict that ” is crap” is extremely rude and I shouldn’t ever say it, I was taken aback at your assertion that it doesn’t contribute anything. Surely “Don’t use this thing for this purpose” is non-empty. By the same token, I’d actually be pretty okay with being told “I wish you were dead” in many contexts. For example, in a discussion of eugenics, I’d be quite fine with a position that implies I should be dead, and would much rather hear it than have others dance around the implication.
Maybe the lesson for you is that many people suck really bad at phrasing things, so you should apply the principle of charity harder and be tolerant if they can’t be both as nice and as clear as you’d have been and choose to sacrifice niceness? The lesson I’ve learned is that I should be more polite in general, more polite to you in particular, look harder for nice phrasings, and spell out implications rather than try to bake them in connotations.
For example, in a discussion of eugenics, I’d be quite fine with a position that implies I should be dead, and would much rather hear it than have others dance around the implication.
I’m fine with positions that imply I should never have been born (although I have yet to hear one that includes me), but I’d feel very differently about one implying that I should be dead!
Many people don’t endorse anything similar to the principle that “any argument for no more of something should explain why there is a perfect amount of that thing or be counted as an argument for less of that thing.”
E.g. thinking arguments that “life extension is bad” generally have no implications regarding killing people were it to become available. So those who say I shouldn’t live to be 200 are not only basically arguing I should (eventually, sooner than I want) be dead, the implication I take is often that I should be killed (in the future).
If someone tells me I should die now, I understand that to mean that my life from this point forward is of negative value to them. If they tell me I should never have been born, I understand that to mean not only that my life from this point forward is of negative value, but also that my life up to this point has been of negative value.
Interesting. I don’t read it as necessarily a judgment of value at all to be told that I should never have been born (things that should not have happened may accidentally have good consequences). Additionally, someone who doesn’t think that I should have been born, but also doesn’t think I should die, will not try to kill me, though they may push policies that will prevent future additions to my salient reference class; someone who thinks I should die could try to make that happen!
For my part, I don’t treat saying things like “I think you should be dead” as particularly predictive of actually trying to kill me. Perhaps I ought to, but I don’t.
If it helps, I didn’t even remember that one of the times I’ve called someone out on “X is crap” was you. So consider it “lived down”.
taken aback at your assertion that it doesn’t contribute anything.
You’re right. How about an assertion that it doesn’t contribute anything that couldn’t be easily rephrased in a much better way? Your example of “Don’t use this thing for this purpose”, especially if followed by a brief explanation, is an order of magnitude better than “X is crap”, and I doubt it took you more than 5 seconds to write.
You come off as having single-standards. That is, I think the minimal level of niceness you accept from others is also the minimal level of niceness you practice—you don’t allow wiggle room for others having different standards. I sincerely don’t resent that! My model of nice people in general suggests y’all practice Postel’s law (“Be liberal in what you accept and conservative in what you send”), but I don’t think it’s even consistent to demand that someone follow it.
...I’m never going to live that one down, am I? Let’s just say that there’s an enormous amount of behaviours that I’d describe as “slightly blunter than politeness would allow, for the sake of clarity” and you’d describe as “extremely rude”.
Also, while I’ve accepted the verdict that ” is crap” is extremely rude and I shouldn’t ever say it, I was taken aback at your assertion that it doesn’t contribute anything. Surely “Don’t use this thing for this purpose” is non-empty. By the same token, I’d actually be pretty okay with being told “I wish you were dead” in many contexts. For example, in a discussion of eugenics, I’d be quite fine with a position that implies I should be dead, and would much rather hear it than have others dance around the implication.
Maybe the lesson for you is that many people suck really bad at phrasing things, so you should apply the principle of charity harder and be tolerant if they can’t be both as nice and as clear as you’d have been and choose to sacrifice niceness? The lesson I’ve learned is that I should be more polite in general, more polite to you in particular, look harder for nice phrasings, and spell out implications rather than try to bake them in connotations.
I’m fine with positions that imply I should never have been born (although I have yet to hear one that includes me), but I’d feel very differently about one implying that I should be dead!
Many people don’t endorse anything similar to the principle that “any argument for no more of something should explain why there is a perfect amount of that thing or be counted as an argument for less of that thing.”
E.g. thinking arguments that “life extension is bad” generally have no implications regarding killing people were it to become available. So those who say I shouldn’t live to be 200 are not only basically arguing I should (eventually, sooner than I want) be dead, the implication I take is often that I should be killed (in the future).
Personally, I’d be far more insulted by the suggestion that I should never have been born, than by the suggestion that I should die now.
Why?
If someone tells me I should die now, I understand that to mean that my life from this point forward is of negative value to them. If they tell me I should never have been born, I understand that to mean not only that my life from this point forward is of negative value, but also that my life up to this point has been of negative value.
Interesting. I don’t read it as necessarily a judgment of value at all to be told that I should never have been born (things that should not have happened may accidentally have good consequences). Additionally, someone who doesn’t think that I should have been born, but also doesn’t think I should die, will not try to kill me, though they may push policies that will prevent future additions to my salient reference class; someone who thinks I should die could try to make that happen!
Interesting.
For my part, I don’t treat saying things like “I think you should be dead” as particularly predictive of actually trying to kill me. Perhaps I ought to, but I don’t.
Upvoted, and thank you for the explanation.
If it helps, I didn’t even remember that one of the times I’ve called someone out on “X is crap” was you. So consider it “lived down”.
You’re right. How about an assertion that it doesn’t contribute anything that couldn’t be easily rephrased in a much better way? Your example of “Don’t use this thing for this purpose”, especially if followed by a brief explanation, is an order of magnitude better than “X is crap”, and I doubt it took you more than 5 seconds to write.
.
Correcting for my differing speech patterns across languages and need to speak to stuck-up authorities… probably roughly as much.