The goal invoked in the post, though, is to avoid moralizing in conversations between rationalists so that they don’t feel like they’re walking through a minefield. Having the anger and suppressing it, doesn’t work for that. The person next to you is still walking the minefield. They’re just not getting feedback.
From some of the above posts I get the impression that at least in a community of aspiring rationalists, there is still some anger around. I think it is one of the hardest things to get rid of.
There is a point about my personal technique I wanted to make that I feel I didn’t really transport so far… I find it hard to explain though.
Thinking about something like option 5b) somehow helps me to combat the feeling of helplessness that is often mixed in with the anger. Somehow in saying myself “you can act on that later, if you still feel it is necessary” I take the edge off. Can someone relate to that and maybe help in clarifying?
Also there is a difference between suppressing anger and what I am trying to describe that feels totally clear internally but is also hard to explain.
The point about the missing feedback is a very good one and I’m wondering if and how and how often rationalists give each other feedback about how the discussion makes them feel.
Somehow in saying myself “you can act on that later, if you still feel it is necessary” I take the edge off. Can someone relate to that and maybe help in clarifying?
I think I may know what you’re talking about. I find it immensely helpful to tell myself (when it’s true) “there is no hurry”, sometimes repeatedly. When there’s no hurry, I can double-check. When there’s no hurry, I can ask someone for help. When there’s no hurry, there’s no reason to panic. When there’s no hurry, I can put it down, come back to it later whenever I feel like it, and see if anything’s changed about how I want to react to it. So it’s more general than just anger, but perhaps the same class of thing.
The goal invoked in the post, though, is to avoid moralizing in conversations between rationalists so that they don’t feel like they’re walking through a minefield. Having the anger and suppressing it, doesn’t work for that. The person next to you is still walking the minefield. They’re just not getting feedback.
From some of the above posts I get the impression that at least in a community of aspiring rationalists, there is still some anger around. I think it is one of the hardest things to get rid of.
There is a point about my personal technique I wanted to make that I feel I didn’t really transport so far… I find it hard to explain though. Thinking about something like option 5b) somehow helps me to combat the feeling of helplessness that is often mixed in with the anger. Somehow in saying myself “you can act on that later, if you still feel it is necessary” I take the edge off. Can someone relate to that and maybe help in clarifying?
Also there is a difference between suppressing anger and what I am trying to describe that feels totally clear internally but is also hard to explain.
The point about the missing feedback is a very good one and I’m wondering if and how and how often rationalists give each other feedback about how the discussion makes them feel.
I think I may know what you’re talking about. I find it immensely helpful to tell myself (when it’s true) “there is no hurry”, sometimes repeatedly. When there’s no hurry, I can double-check. When there’s no hurry, I can ask someone for help. When there’s no hurry, there’s no reason to panic. When there’s no hurry, I can put it down, come back to it later whenever I feel like it, and see if anything’s changed about how I want to react to it. So it’s more general than just anger, but perhaps the same class of thing.
Yes that’s what I mean, thank you.