Counterpoint: It’s emotionally draining and deeply unrewarding to try to be friends with someone who’s wrong on a topic that you or they can’t avoid for some reason (it may not be Important in any global sense, but it’s important enough to one or both of you that it comes up even after you agree to disagree and that you can’t/won’t try to resolve it).
I’m happy to be casually friendly with plenty of people, all of whom are wrong on some topics (or wrong in their model weights across topics). I’m wrong, I’m sure, in many of these as well, and there are too many to try to crux every one of them. But casual friendliness is different from actual friendship, and likely feels like abandonment to many.
Granted there is some default relationship styles were you try to be on the same page for major issues and there is selectivity what those issues are. But whether there is a need to bring up a topic once a disagreement is discovered seems that it could depend on variables. Some people could even find discussing disagreements to be empowering and having a stance where disagreement means relationship is drained until disagremeent is resolved could be seen as a character flaw.
Oh, definitely. There are plenty of topics I bring up with my friends specifically because we disagree and it’s entertaining for all of us. The key is that it doesn’t generalize, and I can’t replicate it with people that don’t “fit” my style well enough and are in danger of joining a cult (or cult-like subculture) to get the validation they need.
The link was about a flat earther being drawn to likeminded sites/groups because they felt alienated in other circles. I submit that this is common, and also that your advice (“be nicer to those people”) is not likely to work, because there’s a good number of them that I just don’t like enough to give them sufficient friendship to meet their needs. I don’t bully them, but I can’t really support them as much as they want/need.
Counterpoint: It’s emotionally draining and deeply unrewarding to try to be friends with someone who’s wrong on a topic that you or they can’t avoid for some reason (it may not be Important in any global sense, but it’s important enough to one or both of you that it comes up even after you agree to disagree and that you can’t/won’t try to resolve it).
I’m happy to be casually friendly with plenty of people, all of whom are wrong on some topics (or wrong in their model weights across topics). I’m wrong, I’m sure, in many of these as well, and there are too many to try to crux every one of them. But casual friendliness is different from actual friendship, and likely feels like abandonment to many.
Granted there is some default relationship styles were you try to be on the same page for major issues and there is selectivity what those issues are. But whether there is a need to bring up a topic once a disagreement is discovered seems that it could depend on variables. Some people could even find discussing disagreements to be empowering and having a stance where disagreement means relationship is drained until disagremeent is resolved could be seen as a character flaw.
Oh, definitely. There are plenty of topics I bring up with my friends specifically because we disagree and it’s entertaining for all of us. The key is that it doesn’t generalize, and I can’t replicate it with people that don’t “fit” my style well enough and are in danger of joining a cult (or cult-like subculture) to get the validation they need.
The link was about a flat earther being drawn to likeminded sites/groups because they felt alienated in other circles. I submit that this is common, and also that your advice (“be nicer to those people”) is not likely to work, because there’s a good number of them that I just don’t like enough to give them sufficient friendship to meet their needs. I don’t bully them, but I can’t really support them as much as they want/need.