I liked the first paragraph after the first sentence.
I also liked the early defining of words, and wish this was more of a norm here.
Your suggestions about big picture relevance and importance are good. I would put forward that she could do a bit less extensive rewriting, depending on how much she feels like doing.
I liked the first paragraph after the first sentence.
I also liked the early defining of words, and wish this was more of a norm here.
Your suggestions about big picture relevance and importance are good. I would put forward that she could do a bit less extensive rewriting, depending on how much she feels like doing.