I’m in a situation which seems sort of the opposite of yours. I’m with a woman, who’s more rational than any other I personally know. But the sex is just not very good, and I find myself getting physically drawn to other women a bit too much. I’ve struggled for weeks, trying to decide whether to continue or not. I’ve tried hard to think what I really want. And I think that if I were sexually satisfied, I would be very happy with the relationship because everything else seems perfect. So, I’m trying to work on that now. I’m paying more attention to being a loving and sensuous partner. Let’s say I’m experimenting on the weak aspects of my relationship.
If I were in your place, I’d take each point of disagreement on its own merit. If it’s decisions where the results can be seen clearly I wouldn’t argue but just politely point to the results. As far as religious beliefs are concerned, the more I think about it the more I feel, that defining myself as an ‘atheist’ is only useful in saying that I don’t believe in God. Beyond that, it doesn’t add anything valuable to my personality. It can’t because it’s a negative definition. So, I would try and deal with specific issues rather than try to convince my partner that theism is wrong. If she believes in magic, playful humour might lighten things up a bit.
I also think it would be useful if you learnt more about her way of thinking, just like she has learnt about yours.
My advice is first, to talk to her a lot about sex and make it clear how important that is to you.
If that doesn’t work, consider asking her for permission to sleep with other women. That option would satisfy me in your situation temporarily, but I’d have to think about whether it would satisfy me longer term.
I’m in a situation which seems sort of the opposite of yours. I’m with a woman, who’s more rational than any other I personally know. But the sex is just not very good, and I find myself getting physically drawn to other women a bit too much. I’ve struggled for weeks, trying to decide whether to continue or not. I’ve tried hard to think what I really want. And I think that if I were sexually satisfied, I would be very happy with the relationship because everything else seems perfect. So, I’m trying to work on that now. I’m paying more attention to being a loving and sensuous partner. Let’s say I’m experimenting on the weak aspects of my relationship.
If I were in your place, I’d take each point of disagreement on its own merit. If it’s decisions where the results can be seen clearly I wouldn’t argue but just politely point to the results. As far as religious beliefs are concerned, the more I think about it the more I feel, that defining myself as an ‘atheist’ is only useful in saying that I don’t believe in God. Beyond that, it doesn’t add anything valuable to my personality. It can’t because it’s a negative definition. So, I would try and deal with specific issues rather than try to convince my partner that theism is wrong. If she believes in magic, playful humour might lighten things up a bit.
I also think it would be useful if you learnt more about her way of thinking, just like she has learnt about yours.
My advice is first, to talk to her a lot about sex and make it clear how important that is to you.
If that doesn’t work, consider asking her for permission to sleep with other women. That option would satisfy me in your situation temporarily, but I’d have to think about whether it would satisfy me longer term.