So you also associated to her specifically? I noticed the similarity while writing, but didn’t think it would be noticeable while reading. Guess I was wrong. I’ll rewrite slightly—if that’s noticeable to others, it bothers me.
For what it’s worth, I don’t see any need to change it; archetypes echo down generations of storytellers because they work, and this character works very well as she is.
I do see such a need, actually; I think that particular sector of description was influenced by Shiara, which means I got lazy for ten seconds and didn’t do my own thinking, and was punished accordingly. So I changed the emphasis slightly, to what I think it might have been if I hadn’t also thought of Shiara. I expect this sort of thing can be handled by changing one or two lines rather than a complete rewrite.
For what it’s worth, I also thought of Shiara immediately when I read it last night, largely because of the “summoning an offworlder with mysterious knowledge” premise combined with the shared archtype and the “dead lover” bit.
So you also associated to her specifically? I noticed the similarity while writing, but didn’t think it would be noticeable while reading. Guess I was wrong. I’ll rewrite slightly—if that’s noticeable to others, it bothers me.
For what it’s worth, I don’t see any need to change it; archetypes echo down generations of storytellers because they work, and this character works very well as she is.
I do see such a need, actually; I think that particular sector of description was influenced by Shiara, which means I got lazy for ten seconds and didn’t do my own thinking, and was punished accordingly. So I changed the emphasis slightly, to what I think it might have been if I hadn’t also thought of Shiara. I expect this sort of thing can be handled by changing one or two lines rather than a complete rewrite.
Fair enough, that’s reasonable.
For what it’s worth, I also thought of Shiara immediately when I read it last night, largely because of the “summoning an offworlder with mysterious knowledge” premise combined with the shared archtype and the “dead lover” bit.