So you also associated to her specifically? I noticed the similarity while writing, but didn’t think it would be noticeable while reading. Guess I was wrong. I’ll rewrite slightly—if that’s noticeable to others, it bothers me.
For what it’s worth, I don’t see any need to change it; archetypes echo down generations of storytellers because they work, and this character works very well as she is.
I do see such a need, actually; I think that particular sector of description was influenced by Shiara, which means I got lazy for ten seconds and didn’t do my own thinking, and was punished accordingly. So I changed the emphasis slightly, to what I think it might have been if I hadn’t also thought of Shiara. I expect this sort of thing can be handled by changing one or two lines rather than a complete rewrite.
For what it’s worth, I also thought of Shiara immediately when I read it last night, largely because of the “summoning an offworlder with mysterious knowledge” premise combined with the shared archtype and the “dead lover” bit.
Ah! Yes, I knew she reminded me of someone.
(To anyone who hasn’t read the Wiz series: highly recommended.)
So you also associated to her specifically? I noticed the similarity while writing, but didn’t think it would be noticeable while reading. Guess I was wrong. I’ll rewrite slightly—if that’s noticeable to others, it bothers me.
For what it’s worth, I don’t see any need to change it; archetypes echo down generations of storytellers because they work, and this character works very well as she is.
I do see such a need, actually; I think that particular sector of description was influenced by Shiara, which means I got lazy for ten seconds and didn’t do my own thinking, and was punished accordingly. So I changed the emphasis slightly, to what I think it might have been if I hadn’t also thought of Shiara. I expect this sort of thing can be handled by changing one or two lines rather than a complete rewrite.
Fair enough, that’s reasonable.
For what it’s worth, I also thought of Shiara immediately when I read it last night, largely because of the “summoning an offworlder with mysterious knowledge” premise combined with the shared archtype and the “dead lover” bit.