An intermediate goal of accumulating money & power
A primary goal of dating successfully
I situated myself as the lead for my company’s sexy new product. On Tuesday I led a well-received demonstration to a potential customer, and on Wednesday I told my boss that I wanted a new title with more pay. He’s a much better
negotiator than I am, but we’re still talking, anyway. The details of the agreement we reach or don’t reach will determine where I live and work in 2012.
I continue to accumulate cash despite my best efforts to blow it on nonsense. I’ve started a business that I hope will serve as an investment vehicle for most of my savings for the next year or two. Investing in a market sector that I’m familiar with ought to be a better use of resources than stocks, where I don’t know as much and still might only expect to make 10-20% per year.
I’ve started to play the social games that I swore off for a long time, since I think it’s the best way to get people to do what I want (yuck! Even saying it like that reminds me why I quit years ago). And I’ve been failing, often spectacularly and in front of my friends, but at least I’m trying, and I remind myself that the difficulty is what makes it worth doing. I’ve taken
chances pursuing two single women, and things went great until they went horribly. It’s both frustrating and addicting, like when I was learning to program, but the structure is more hidden and the rules aren’t as rigid. I’m excited to keep working at it.
Sure. I’ll give examples of situations where I think I’ve improved, rather than where I’m just failing miserably, since the failures probably mean I don’t understand what’s going on.
You’re flirting with someone and they ask you a simple personal question, like your age or whether you’re single. You can answer honestly, right away, which is what I did for years because I didn’t even consider other options. Or you can make them guess. Before I started doing this, I thought they’d get frustrated and end the conversation. The opposite is true! Answering right away is boring. Making them guess makes them more invested and more interested.
More on being coy with information: you know you’re going to do the dishes, no matter what. But you say to your roommate, “hey, I’ll do the dishes if you take the trash out.” You’ll get this deal every time. But if they know upfront that you’re already committed to doing the work, they’ll be much less likely to do their fair share.
You’re riding in a car talking with two other people. Someone slips up and says something offensive, or dumb, or otherwise immediately regretful. I think that the obvious Golden Rule response, and my go-to response until recently, is to gracefully transition the subject away from the gaff, or to say something even worse to take some of the embarrassment off them. But you have other options if the game you’re playing is more long-term than giving everybody what they want right away. You can express (or feign) disgust, make a joke at their expense, or let their comment linger, depending on what you’re trying to do.
I’ve made progress in two areas:
An intermediate goal of accumulating money & power
A primary goal of dating successfully
I situated myself as the lead for my company’s sexy new product. On Tuesday I led a well-received demonstration to a potential customer, and on Wednesday I told my boss that I wanted a new title with more pay. He’s a much better negotiator than I am, but we’re still talking, anyway. The details of the agreement we reach or don’t reach will determine where I live and work in 2012.
I continue to accumulate cash despite my best efforts to blow it on nonsense. I’ve started a business that I hope will serve as an investment vehicle for most of my savings for the next year or two. Investing in a market sector that I’m familiar with ought to be a better use of resources than stocks, where I don’t know as much and still might only expect to make 10-20% per year.
I’ve started to play the social games that I swore off for a long time, since I think it’s the best way to get people to do what I want (yuck! Even saying it like that reminds me why I quit years ago). And I’ve been failing, often spectacularly and in front of my friends, but at least I’m trying, and I remind myself that the difficulty is what makes it worth doing. I’ve taken chances pursuing two single women, and things went great until they went horribly. It’s both frustrating and addicting, like when I was learning to program, but the structure is more hidden and the rules aren’t as rigid. I’m excited to keep working at it.
Do you mind expanding on what you mean by “social games”? Maybe give some examples etc.
Sure. I’ll give examples of situations where I think I’ve improved, rather than where I’m just failing miserably, since the failures probably mean I don’t understand what’s going on.
You’re flirting with someone and they ask you a simple personal question, like your age or whether you’re single. You can answer honestly, right away, which is what I did for years because I didn’t even consider other options. Or you can make them guess. Before I started doing this, I thought they’d get frustrated and end the conversation. The opposite is true! Answering right away is boring. Making them guess makes them more invested and more interested.
More on being coy with information: you know you’re going to do the dishes, no matter what. But you say to your roommate, “hey, I’ll do the dishes if you take the trash out.” You’ll get this deal every time. But if they know upfront that you’re already committed to doing the work, they’ll be much less likely to do their fair share.
You’re riding in a car talking with two other people. Someone slips up and says something offensive, or dumb, or otherwise immediately regretful. I think that the obvious Golden Rule response, and my go-to response until recently, is to gracefully transition the subject away from the gaff, or to say something even worse to take some of the embarrassment off them. But you have other options if the game you’re playing is more long-term than giving everybody what they want right away. You can express (or feign) disgust, make a joke at their expense, or let their comment linger, depending on what you’re trying to do.
As a bonus, if you have people guess your age, you get to know how old (people are willing to admit) you look.
Thanks!