I find it strange that people get so irate over the suggestion that people develop interpersonal skills, and that their parents should help them do so if they see a lack.
In our society I think there’s a belief that most instances where parents try to interfere with dating choices of their children it doesn’t help.
A lot of liberal minded parents don’t think that attempts by their parents to intervene in their dating lives were positive, so they don’t try to intervene for their children.
The choice to use an abbreviation for AWSS is also worth noting. People with normal social skills usually don’t speak about AWSS. Using language that produces emotional detachment is typical PUA-thing.
In our society I think there’s a belief that most instances where parents try to interfere with dating choices of their children it doesn’t help.
I think people children tend not to want their parents to try to choose their partners, but at least in my social circles, I think it was quite rare for parents to try to impart relationship/dating skills into their children.
People with normal social skills usually don’t speak about AWSS. Using language that produces emotional detachment is typical PUA-thing.
Specialized in group jargon and acronyms show up in a lot of places. One nearby that I can think of.
Specialized in group jargon and acronyms show up in a lot of places.
I’m not criticizing it for being jargon.
A word like “steelmanning” is also jargon. But it’s not in the same category emotional distancing as “AMSS”.
There are also times where intellectual distance is useful. In academia you don’t want emotions to interfere with your reasoning. In the case of PUA, the language allows suppression of approach anxiety. Intellectual distance allows a PUA to run his routine without interferes of his emotions. At the same time prevents real emotional connection to see interactions with the goal of maximizing the amount of k-close, n-closes and f-closes.
In our society I think there’s a belief that most instances where parents try to interfere with dating choices of their children it doesn’t help.
An excellent point, although I think this belief is much more widespread among liberals than conservatives. And I think it’s part of a larger point, which is that liberals seem to be far more negative across the board towards parental involvement in their children’s lives. I vividly remember my own shock and incomprehension when I first encountered this attitude—that young people need to challenge, overturn, or break free from parental authority. I still have to remind myself that some people think like this, because it’s so alien to my understanding of the world. For me it is completely natural that I would want my parents to intervene in my dating life—whether to set me up with someone they considered suitable, to warn me against someone unsuitable, to advise me that I am lacking, or whatever else—because they know me better than anyone else, and they can only have my best interests at heart. Of course I should try and adopt and carry on my parents values as best I can. And so on. I don’t think it’s purely a liberal/conservative thing, but I do think it’s part of it.
Examples: I recently saw this article cited as an example of unfit parenting because they see their kids as “raw materials for their culture cloning project,” and I saw this post heavily upvoted. My reactions were exactly opposite—my reaction was to applaud the Christians’ attempts to pass down their values (although I do not personally share them) and to sigh at what seemed like the narcissism of the Lesswrong poster.
Predictions (Because any theory is worthless if it doesn’t make them): I predict that conservatives would be much more willing than liberals to support statements like “Parents should make sure their sons grow up with manly skills” and “Parents should intervene when they see their children making bad choices in their romantic lives.”
I vividly remember my own shock and incomprehension when I first encountered this attitude—that young people need to challenge, overturn, or break free from parental authority. I still have to remind myself that some people think like this, because it’s so alien to my understanding of the world.
That’s interesting. I come from the entirely opposite side—it’s not really comprehensible to me how and why parents feel the need to run their childrens’ lives past late teens. And here you are, in the bit-flesh :-)
Being an adult is partly about taking responsibility for one’s own life.
The man who talks to a woman because his mother told him to do so, might lack qualities of manly social interaction.
Predictions (Because any theory is worthless if it doesn’t make them): I predict that conservatives would be much more willing than liberals to support statements like “Parents should make sure their sons grow up with manly skills” and “Parents should intervene when they see their children making bad choices in their romantic lives.”
In our society I think there’s a belief that most instances where parents try to interfere with dating choices of their children it doesn’t help.
A lot of liberal minded parents don’t think that attempts by their parents to intervene in their dating lives were positive, so they don’t try to intervene for their children.
The choice to use an abbreviation for AWSS is also worth noting. People with normal social skills usually don’t speak about AWSS. Using language that produces emotional detachment is typical PUA-thing.
I think people children tend not to want their parents to try to choose their partners, but at least in my social circles, I think it was quite rare for parents to try to impart relationship/dating skills into their children.
Specialized in group jargon and acronyms show up in a lot of places. One nearby that I can think of.
I’m not criticizing it for being jargon. A word like “steelmanning” is also jargon. But it’s not in the same category emotional distancing as “AMSS”.
There are also times where intellectual distance is useful. In academia you don’t want emotions to interfere with your reasoning. In the case of PUA, the language allows suppression of approach anxiety. Intellectual distance allows a PUA to run his routine without interferes of his emotions. At the same time prevents real emotional connection to see interactions with the goal of maximizing the amount of k-close, n-closes and f-closes.
An excellent point, although I think this belief is much more widespread among liberals than conservatives. And I think it’s part of a larger point, which is that liberals seem to be far more negative across the board towards parental involvement in their children’s lives. I vividly remember my own shock and incomprehension when I first encountered this attitude—that young people need to challenge, overturn, or break free from parental authority. I still have to remind myself that some people think like this, because it’s so alien to my understanding of the world. For me it is completely natural that I would want my parents to intervene in my dating life—whether to set me up with someone they considered suitable, to warn me against someone unsuitable, to advise me that I am lacking, or whatever else—because they know me better than anyone else, and they can only have my best interests at heart. Of course I should try and adopt and carry on my parents values as best I can. And so on. I don’t think it’s purely a liberal/conservative thing, but I do think it’s part of it.
Examples: I recently saw this article cited as an example of unfit parenting because they see their kids as “raw materials for their culture cloning project,” and I saw this post heavily upvoted. My reactions were exactly opposite—my reaction was to applaud the Christians’ attempts to pass down their values (although I do not personally share them) and to sigh at what seemed like the narcissism of the Lesswrong poster.
Predictions (Because any theory is worthless if it doesn’t make them): I predict that conservatives would be much more willing than liberals to support statements like “Parents should make sure their sons grow up with manly skills” and “Parents should intervene when they see their children making bad choices in their romantic lives.”
That’s interesting. I come from the entirely opposite side—it’s not really comprehensible to me how and why parents feel the need to run their childrens’ lives past late teens. And here you are, in the bit-flesh :-)
Being an adult is partly about taking responsibility for one’s own life. The man who talks to a woman because his mother told him to do so, might lack qualities of manly social interaction.
I agree, that’s likely true.