My partner’s parents (her dad mostly) enforced an 8-point rule around candy. One m&m = 1 point; 1 starburst = 4…
The consequence? She developed an unhealthy relationship to candy and would binge on sugary garbage whenever with friends whose parents did not enforce the rule. She didn’t get a chance to discover her own limits for herself.
Contrast with my upbringing: there just wasn’t candy in house, and my parents were relatively relaxed outside the house (granted breakfast was still garbagey cereal but standards change). I never had a problem over consuming candy.
I guess the takeaway is that (human-)enforced moderation is much more fragile than passive (environmentally enforced) moderation.
But then, if I consider how different our siblings are from us (my brother has way more of a sweet tooth, and my partner’s sister had less of a sweet tooth than her), I’d have to conclude that none of this matters, kids are their own creatures, and everything I just wrote only counts as the weakest possible kind of evidence. Oh well.
Yes, I think it varies a lot between people. Comparing me and my two siblings, one has a very strong sweet tooth and always wants to eat lots of candy, one sets rules for themself about how much is okay and doesn’t have that much, and the third isn’t that interested.
I have to respond to the fractional sweets thing.
My partner’s parents (her dad mostly) enforced an 8-point rule around candy. One m&m = 1 point; 1 starburst = 4…
The consequence? She developed an unhealthy relationship to candy and would binge on sugary garbage whenever with friends whose parents did not enforce the rule. She didn’t get a chance to discover her own limits for herself.
Contrast with my upbringing: there just wasn’t candy in house, and my parents were relatively relaxed outside the house (granted breakfast was still garbagey cereal but standards change). I never had a problem over consuming candy.
I guess the takeaway is that (human-)enforced moderation is much more fragile than passive (environmentally enforced) moderation.
But then, if I consider how different our siblings are from us (my brother has way more of a sweet tooth, and my partner’s sister had less of a sweet tooth than her), I’d have to conclude that none of this matters, kids are their own creatures, and everything I just wrote only counts as the weakest possible kind of evidence. Oh well.
Yes, I think it varies a lot between people. Comparing me and my two siblings, one has a very strong sweet tooth and always wants to eat lots of candy, one sets rules for themself about how much is okay and doesn’t have that much, and the third isn’t that interested.
How do you know that your partner’s upbringing was the cause of her binging?
Her report. Also this was only a “problem” (not the actual eating disorder kind of problem) as a kid.
But like I said, it’s anecdotal, there’s no RCT taking place here, so discount everything appropriately.
People attributing their own shortcomings to others is rather weak evidence.