Now, the optimal strategy would be one that creates a true impression that one is liked, and that others would like one to remain around. (If someone is not liked, then the optimal strategy, assuming infinite resources and time, would be to persuade them to become more likeable). The question, then, is what strategy creates that impression?
I think the practice of chewing apart someone’s religion is pretty emotionally trying and leaves the person feeling like the community hates their entire being/identity, despite their generally polite and civil tone, and the top level article is about acknowledging and repairing emotional damage after exchanges like this. So, some sort of active statement of “I still like you! You are still cool! Thank you for the nice discussion! Would you like to also talk about this here math thing? I would love to know what you think!” would hopefully make chewed-apart people (Wednesday?) feel much better about hanging around here.
Actually, I think the “I still like you!” issue is pretty similar to the sarcasm issue in written word. Because IRL you can use subtle clues to show you still like the person, like smile and speak softer after you’re done debating god and things. Or pat them! Here, all I’ve got is exclamation marks. And text emoticons?
I think the practice of chewing apart someone’s religion is pretty emotionally trying and leaves the person feeling like the community hates their entire being/identity,
Yes, it would be. In my experience, I haven’t felt that my religion has been chewed apart; by and large, most people on the site seem to shrug and ignore it. So this situation hasn’t yet turned up here for me.
Though you are right; such a sentiment would go a long way towards repairing emotional damage. Actively pointing out and encouraging behaviour that you like is a good way to get people to behave that way more often. I think that’s most of the reason for the karma system; to upvote posts encourages similar behaviour in the future. Replying, with specific reasons for an upvote, encourages a more specific behaviour (and upvoting the encouraging post will probably reinforce the enouragement).
In person, I’m told that eye contact and attentive listening work surprisingly well.
I think the practice of chewing apart someone’s religion is pretty emotionally trying and leaves the person feeling like the community hates their entire being/identity, despite their generally polite and civil tone, and the top level article is about acknowledging and repairing emotional damage after exchanges like this. So, some sort of active statement of “I still like you! You are still cool! Thank you for the nice discussion! Would you like to also talk about this here math thing? I would love to know what you think!” would hopefully make chewed-apart people (Wednesday?) feel much better about hanging around here.
Actually, I think the “I still like you!” issue is pretty similar to the sarcasm issue in written word. Because IRL you can use subtle clues to show you still like the person, like smile and speak softer after you’re done debating god and things. Or pat them! Here, all I’ve got is exclamation marks. And text emoticons?
Yes, it would be. In my experience, I haven’t felt that my religion has been chewed apart; by and large, most people on the site seem to shrug and ignore it. So this situation hasn’t yet turned up here for me.
Though you are right; such a sentiment would go a long way towards repairing emotional damage. Actively pointing out and encouraging behaviour that you like is a good way to get people to behave that way more often. I think that’s most of the reason for the karma system; to upvote posts encourages similar behaviour in the future. Replying, with specific reasons for an upvote, encourages a more specific behaviour (and upvoting the encouraging post will probably reinforce the enouragement).
In person, I’m told that eye contact and attentive listening work surprisingly well.