The problem is not in asking someone to do a little labor on your behalf. It’s having 85+% of your engagement be asking other people to do labor on your behalf, and never reciprocating, and when people are like, hey, could you not, or even just a little less? being supercilious about it.
But why should this be a problem?
Why should people say “hey, could you not, or even just a little less”? If you do something that isn’t bad, that isn’t not a problem, why should people ask you to stop? If it’s a good thing to do, why wouldn’t they instead ask you to do it more?
And why, indeed, are you still speaking in this transactional way?
If you write a post about some abstract concept, without any examples of it, and I write a post that says “What are some examples?”, I am not asking you to do labor on my behalf, I am not asking for a favor (which must be justified by some “favor credit”, some positive account of favors in the bank of Duncan). Quite frankly, I find that claim ridiculous to the point of offensiveness. What I am doing, in that scenario, is making a positive contribution to the discussion, both for your benefit and (even more importantly) for the benefit of other readers and commenters.
There is no good reason why you should resent responding to a request like “what are some examples”. There is no good reason why you should view it as an unjustified and entitled demand for a favor. There is definitely no good reason why you should view acceding to that request as being “for my benefit” (instead of, say, for your benefit, and for the benefit of readers).
(And the gall of saying “never reciprocating”, to me! When I write a post, I include examples pre-emptively, because I know that I should be asked to do so otherwise. Not “will be asked”, of course—but “should”. And when I write a post without enough examples, and someone asks for examples, I respond in great detail. Note that my responses in that thread are much, much longer than the comment which asked for examples. Of course they are! Because the question doesn’t need to be longer—but the answers do!)
(And you might say: “but Said, you barely write any posts—like one a year, at best!”. Indeed. Indeed.)
There is no good reason why you should resent responding to a request like “what are some examples”.
Maybe “resent” is doing most work here, but an excellent reason to not respond is that it takes work. To the extent that there are norms in place that urge response, they create motivation to suppress criticism that would urge response. An expectation that it’s normal for criticism to be a request for response that should normally be granted is pressure to do the work of responding, which is costly, which motivates defensive action in the form of suppressing criticism.
A culture could make it costless (all else equal) to ignore the event of a criticism having been made. This is an inessential reason for suppressing criticism that can be removed, and therefore should, to make criticism cheaper and more abundant.
The content of criticism may of course motivate the author of a criticized text to make further statements, but the fact of criticism’s posting by itself should not. The fact of not responding to criticism is some sort of noisy evidence of not having a good response that is feasible or hedonic to make, but that’s Law, not something that can change for the sake of mechanism design.
It’s certainly doing a decent amount of work, I agree.
Anyhow, your overall point is taken—although I have to point out that that your last sentence seems like a rebuttal of your next-to-last sentence.
That having been said, of course the content of criticism matters. A piece of criticism could simply be bad, and clearly wrong; and then it’s good and proper to just ignore it (perhaps after having made sure that an interested party could, if they so wished, easily see or learn why that criticism is bad). I do not, and would not, advocate for a norm that all comments, all critical questions, etc., regardless of their content, must always be responded to. That is unreasonable.
I also want to note—as I’ve said several times in this discussion, but it bears repeating—there is nothing problematic or blameworthy about someone other than the author of a post responding to questions, criticism, requests for examples, etc. That is fine. Collaborative development of ideas is a perfectly normal and good thing.
What that adds up to, I think, is a set of requirements for a set of social norms which is quite compatible with your suggestion of making it “costless (all else equal) to ignore the event of a criticism having been made”.
The content of criticism may of course motivate the author of a criticized text to make further statements, but the fact of criticism’s posting by itself should not. The fact of not responding to criticism is some sort of noisy evidence of not having a good response that is feasible or hedonic to make, but that’s Law, not something that can change for the sake of mechanism design.
I have to point out that that your last sentence seems like a rebuttal of your next-to-last sentence
They are in opposition, but the point is that they are about different kinds of things, and one of them can’t respond to policy decisions. It’s useful to have a norm that lessens the burden of addressing criticism. It’s Law of reasoning that this burden can nonetheless materialize. The Law is implacable but importantly asymmetric, it only holds when it does, not when the court of public opinion says it should. While the norms are the other way around, and their pressure is somewhat insensitive to facts of a particular situation, so it’s worth pointing them in a generally useful direction, with no hope for their nuanced or at all sane response to details.
Perhaps the presence of Law justifies norms that are over-the-top forgiving to ignoring criticism, or find ignoring criticism a bit praiseworthy when it would be at all unpleasant not to ignore it, to oppose the average valence of Law, while of course attempting to preserve its asymmetry. So I’d say my last sentence in that comment argues that the next-to-last sentence should be stronger. Which I’m not sure I agree with, but here’s the argument.
Said, above, is saying a bunch of things, many of which I agree with, as if they are contra my position or my previous claims.
He can’t pass my ITT (not that I’ve asked him to), which means that he doesn’t understand the thing he’s trying to disagree with, which means that his disagreement is not actually pointing at my position; the things he finds ridiculous and offensive are cardboard cutouts of his own construction. More detail on that over here.
BTW I was surprised earlier to see you agree with the ‘relational’ piece of this comment because Duncan’s grandparent comment seems like it’s a pretty central example of that. (I view you as having more of a “visitor-commons” orientation towards LW, and Duncan has more of an orientation where this is a place where people inhabit their pairwise relationships, as well as more one-to-many relationships.)
Sorry, I’m not quite sure I follow the references here. You’re saying that… this comment… is a central example of… what, exactly?
(I view you as having more of a “visitor-commons” orientation towards LW, and Duncan has more of an orientation where this is a place where people inhabit their pairwise relationships, as well as more one-to-many relationships.)
That… seems like it’s probably accurate… I think? I think I’d have to more clearly understand what you’re getting at in your comment, in order to judge whether this part makes sense to me.
Sorry, my previous comment wasn’t very clear. Earlier I said:
Duncan is trying to suggest what is permissible or impermissible is more relational and deals with people’s attitudes towards each other (as suggested by gjm here).
and you responded with:
I also—and, perhaps, more importantly—think that the interactions in question are not only fine, but good, in a “relational” sense.
(and a few related comments) which made me think “hmm, I don’t think we mean the same thing by ‘relational’. Then Duncan’s comment had a frame that I would have described as ‘relational’—as in focusing on the relationships between the people saying and hearing the words—which you then described as transactional.
I think that the sense in which I would characterize Duncan’s description as “transactional” is… mostly orthogonal to the question of “is this a relational frame”. I don’t think that this has much to do with the “‘visitor commons’ vs. ‘pairwise relationships’” distinction, either (although that distinction is an interesting and possibly important one in its own right, and you’re certainly more right than wrong about where my preferences lie in that regard).
(There’s more that I could say about this, but I don’t know whether anything of importance hinges on this point. It seems like it mostly shouldn’t, but perhaps you are a better judge of that…)
But why should this be a problem?
Why should people say “hey, could you not, or even just a little less”? If you do something that isn’t bad, that isn’t not a problem, why should people ask you to stop? If it’s a good thing to do, why wouldn’t they instead ask you to do it more?
And why, indeed, are you still speaking in this transactional way?
If you write a post about some abstract concept, without any examples of it, and I write a post that says “What are some examples?”, I am not asking you to do labor on my behalf, I am not asking for a favor (which must be justified by some “favor credit”, some positive account of favors in the bank of Duncan). Quite frankly, I find that claim ridiculous to the point of offensiveness. What I am doing, in that scenario, is making a positive contribution to the discussion, both for your benefit and (even more importantly) for the benefit of other readers and commenters.
There is no good reason why you should resent responding to a request like “what are some examples”. There is no good reason why you should view it as an unjustified and entitled demand for a favor. There is definitely no good reason why you should view acceding to that request as being “for my benefit” (instead of, say, for your benefit, and for the benefit of readers).
(And the gall of saying “never reciprocating”, to me! When I write a post, I include examples pre-emptively, because I know that I should be asked to do so otherwise. Not “will be asked”, of course—but “should”. And when I write a post without enough examples, and someone asks for examples, I respond in great detail. Note that my responses in that thread are much, much longer than the comment which asked for examples. Of course they are! Because the question doesn’t need to be longer—but the answers do!)
(And you might say: “but Said, you barely write any posts—like one a year, at best!”. Indeed. Indeed.)
Maybe “resent” is doing most work here, but an excellent reason to not respond is that it takes work. To the extent that there are norms in place that urge response, they create motivation to suppress criticism that would urge response. An expectation that it’s normal for criticism to be a request for response that should normally be granted is pressure to do the work of responding, which is costly, which motivates defensive action in the form of suppressing criticism.
A culture could make it costless (all else equal) to ignore the event of a criticism having been made. This is an inessential reason for suppressing criticism that can be removed, and therefore should, to make criticism cheaper and more abundant.
The content of criticism may of course motivate the author of a criticized text to make further statements, but the fact of criticism’s posting by itself should not. The fact of not responding to criticism is some sort of noisy evidence of not having a good response that is feasible or hedonic to make, but that’s Law, not something that can change for the sake of mechanism design.
It’s certainly doing a decent amount of work, I agree.
Anyhow, your overall point is taken—although I have to point out that that your last sentence seems like a rebuttal of your next-to-last sentence.
That having been said, of course the content of criticism matters. A piece of criticism could simply be bad, and clearly wrong; and then it’s good and proper to just ignore it (perhaps after having made sure that an interested party could, if they so wished, easily see or learn why that criticism is bad). I do not, and would not, advocate for a norm that all comments, all critical questions, etc., regardless of their content, must always be responded to. That is unreasonable.
I also want to note—as I’ve said several times in this discussion, but it bears repeating—there is nothing problematic or blameworthy about someone other than the author of a post responding to questions, criticism, requests for examples, etc. That is fine. Collaborative development of ideas is a perfectly normal and good thing.
What that adds up to, I think, is a set of requirements for a set of social norms which is quite compatible with your suggestion of making it “costless (all else equal) to ignore the event of a criticism having been made”.
They are in opposition, but the point is that they are about different kinds of things, and one of them can’t respond to policy decisions. It’s useful to have a norm that lessens the burden of addressing criticism. It’s Law of reasoning that this burden can nonetheless materialize. The Law is implacable but importantly asymmetric, it only holds when it does, not when the court of public opinion says it should. While the norms are the other way around, and their pressure is somewhat insensitive to facts of a particular situation, so it’s worth pointing them in a generally useful direction, with no hope for their nuanced or at all sane response to details.
Perhaps the presence of Law justifies norms that are over-the-top forgiving to ignoring criticism, or find ignoring criticism a bit praiseworthy when it would be at all unpleasant not to ignore it, to oppose the average valence of Law, while of course attempting to preserve its asymmetry. So I’d say my last sentence in that comment argues that the next-to-last sentence should be stronger. Which I’m not sure I agree with, but here’s the argument.
Said, above, is saying a bunch of things, many of which I agree with, as if they are contra my position or my previous claims.
He can’t pass my ITT (not that I’ve asked him to), which means that he doesn’t understand the thing he’s trying to disagree with, which means that his disagreement is not actually pointing at my position; the things he finds ridiculous and offensive are cardboard cutouts of his own construction. More detail on that over here.
This response is manifestly untenable, given the comment of yours that I was responding to.
BTW I was surprised earlier to see you agree with the ‘relational’ piece of this comment because Duncan’s grandparent comment seems like it’s a pretty central example of that. (I view you as having more of a “visitor-commons” orientation towards LW, and Duncan has more of an orientation where this is a place where people inhabit their pairwise relationships, as well as more one-to-many relationships.)
Sorry, I’m not quite sure I follow the references here. You’re saying that… this comment… is a central example of… what, exactly?
That… seems like it’s probably accurate… I think? I think I’d have to more clearly understand what you’re getting at in your comment, in order to judge whether this part makes sense to me.
Sorry, my previous comment wasn’t very clear. Earlier I said:
and you responded with:
(and a few related comments) which made me think “hmm, I don’t think we mean the same thing by ‘relational’. Then Duncan’s comment had a frame that I would have described as ‘relational’—as in focusing on the relationships between the people saying and hearing the words—which you then described as transactional.
Ah, I see.
I think that the sense in which I would characterize Duncan’s description as “transactional” is… mostly orthogonal to the question of “is this a relational frame”. I don’t think that this has much to do with the “‘visitor commons’ vs. ‘pairwise relationships’” distinction, either (although that distinction is an interesting and possibly important one in its own right, and you’re certainly more right than wrong about where my preferences lie in that regard).
(There’s more that I could say about this, but I don’t know whether anything of importance hinges on this point. It seems like it mostly shouldn’t, but perhaps you are a better judge of that…)