Thank you for the reply. I think I’ll need to look into things more.
One clarification I wanted to make. I wouldn’t have normally said that I need to put effort into listening. I think I generally feel like it doesn’t take effort. But somewhat recently I had an interaction with someone go poorly. It was a date, and they said afterwards that they didn’t feel like I wanted to get to know them, because I hadn’t asked enough things about them[1].
So I figure there’s something lacking in my interaction with people. Something that I’m not doing that I should, and doing things requires effort, so therefore I’m lacking in effort in some way.
I think you’re saying in some state it won’t be effortful, because it will be the path of least resistance. But I think my problem was not knowing what they wanted, and I don’t see how a state of mind would give me that information “for free”.
Possibly this was just idiosyncracy on their part. Other people have not expressed this feeling to me, so I have considered I’m putting too much weight on a single interaction.
Thank you for the reply. I think I’ll need to look into things more.
One clarification I wanted to make. I wouldn’t have normally said that I need to put effort into listening. I think I generally feel like it doesn’t take effort. But somewhat recently I had an interaction with someone go poorly. It was a date, and they said afterwards that they didn’t feel like I wanted to get to know them, because I hadn’t asked enough things about them[1].
So I figure there’s something lacking in my interaction with people. Something that I’m not doing that I should, and doing things requires effort, so therefore I’m lacking in effort in some way.
I think you’re saying in some state it won’t be effortful, because it will be the path of least resistance. But I think my problem was not knowing what they wanted, and I don’t see how a state of mind would give me that information “for free”.
Possibly this was just idiosyncracy on their part. Other people have not expressed this feeling to me, so I have considered I’m putting too much weight on a single interaction.