I thought about offering suggestions on a few unusual sentences, but then I decided I actually like nearly everything just the way it is. I had no difficulty understanding the text, and it fits well with the theme if some of the wordings are other than what I’d expect. 😉
The only thing that tripped me up a bit was the ad copy near the end:
And its not absolute accuracy will keep you so dear to you a sense of surprise
It might work better to say something like, “And its not-absolute accuracy will help you keep that sense of surprise that you find so dear”. I would expect ad copy to sound like, “And, in addition to the ongoing savings on storage and processing, the low-resolution package will help you retain that sense of surprise and wonder that you so dearly enjoy”, but I think that moves much further away from the established tone.
Fun dialogue!
I thought about offering suggestions on a few unusual sentences, but then I decided I actually like nearly everything just the way it is. I had no difficulty understanding the text, and it fits well with the theme if some of the wordings are other than what I’d expect. 😉
The only thing that tripped me up a bit was the ad copy near the end:
It might work better to say something like, “And its not-absolute accuracy will help you keep that sense of surprise that you find so dear”. I would expect ad copy to sound like, “And, in addition to the ongoing savings on storage and processing, the low-resolution package will help you retain that sense of surprise and wonder that you so dearly enjoy”, but I think that moves much further away from the established tone.
Thanks! I made an edit based on your first suggestion.