Call to the technical support of reality
- Hello, what is your question?
- Good afternoon, I have some interference in reality. It looks like it’s broken.
- Ok, I understand. Let’s check… (hums a popular tune for thirty seconds, tapping his fingers on the keyboard). Everything is checked, nothing unusual has happened in your world in the last 13.8 billion years. Are you sure you’ve detected a malfunction in reality?
- Of course, reality does not work as it should! I can see that.
- Oh, sorry, I forgot to ask for the script. Are you a client of the reality? Should it work the way you want it to?
- That’s right.
- Please state the contract number.
- What? What is the contract number? I don’t have a contract.
- But in this case, Reality has the right to refuse you services in order to adapt to your tastes. Such claims have no legal support and will not be considered by the Supreme Court of the Multiverse.
- What should I do? The Reality does not meet my expectations.
- But we found out that reality doesn’t have to do that. I can suggest that you download a free update of your beliefs so that they match reality.
- But then I will not expect what I want, I will have to expect what will come.
- Yes, it is. I am glad that you are familiar with the working principle of our product. Now we will fix everything (sings the continuation of that fashionable song, knocks on tired keys). I looked it up. Your device doesn’t have enough memory and processing power to record the full version of Reality. Therefore, we suggest you download the package “Reality.lite”. It has less accuracy, but will still match reality more often than the current pirated version. (the next sentence, as if reading from a piece of paper) And its not-absolute accuracy will help you keep that sense of surprise that you find so dear. Should I forward you the link?
- (sighs) Come on, for that matter.
- lesswrong.com
P.S. I apologize for my poor English. If something needs to be corrected, please indicate it.
Fun dialogue!
I thought about offering suggestions on a few unusual sentences, but then I decided I actually like nearly everything just the way it is. I had no difficulty understanding the text, and it fits well with the theme if some of the wordings are other than what I’d expect. 😉
The only thing that tripped me up a bit was the ad copy near the end:
It might work better to say something like, “And its not-absolute accuracy will help you keep that sense of surprise that you find so dear”. I would expect ad copy to sound like, “And, in addition to the ongoing savings on storage and processing, the low-resolution package will help you retain that sense of surprise and wonder that you so dearly enjoy”, but I think that moves much further away from the established tone.
Thanks! I made an edit based on your first suggestion.