This advice seems conditional on some minimum threshold of attractiveness (social status and physical attractiveness), enough to find hundreds of people willing to go on dates with you within your social circle or on dating apps. This seems like quite a high threshold, or am I missing something? For example the Atlantic article says:
He had better luck with Tinder than the other apps, but it was hardly efficient. He figures he swiped right—indicating that he was interested—up to 30 times for every woman who also swiped right on him, thereby triggering a match. But matching was only the beginning; then it was time to start messaging. “I was up to over 10 messages sent for a single message received,” he said. In other words: Nine out of 10 women who matched with Simon after swiping right on him didn’t go on to exchange messages with him. This means that for every 300 women he swiped right on, he had a conversation with just one.
Attractiveness comes in many forms. I’m extroverted and write better than I look, so I do well at dinner parties and OKCupid. You can be attractive in dancing skill, in spiritual practice, in demonstrable expertise, in an artistic pursuit… guitar players get laid even if they’re not that good looking.
And yet, everyone’s first association when talking about “aim for 100 dates” is Tinder, which works only for the men who are top 20% in the one aspect of attractiveness that’s crowded and hard to improve—physical looks. This includes men who self-report as unattractive, like this commenter (and presumably, “Simon”).
The minimum threshold of attractivenes on Tinder is incredibly high, much higher than almost any other place to look for dates. It’s certainly higher than my own good looks — I only turn Tinder on when I leave the country.
This advice seems conditional on some minimum threshold of attractiveness (social status and physical attractiveness), enough to find hundreds of people willing to go on dates with you within your social circle or on dating apps. This seems like quite a high threshold, or am I missing something? For example the Atlantic article says:
Attractiveness comes in many forms. I’m extroverted and write better than I look, so I do well at dinner parties and OKCupid. You can be attractive in dancing skill, in spiritual practice, in demonstrable expertise, in an artistic pursuit… guitar players get laid even if they’re not that good looking.
And yet, everyone’s first association when talking about “aim for 100 dates” is Tinder, which works only for the men who are top 20% in the one aspect of attractiveness that’s crowded and hard to improve—physical looks. This includes men who self-report as unattractive, like this commenter (and presumably, “Simon”).
The minimum threshold of attractivenes on Tinder is incredibly high, much higher than almost any other place to look for dates. It’s certainly higher than my own good looks — I only turn Tinder on when I leave the country.