I don’t know who you’re arguing against, but it certainly isn’t me.
As I’ve stated Oh, at least a dozen times in this thread, I don’t want all marriages to be unbreakable. I just want people to be able to set the terms of their marriages as they see fit. No-one should be forced to remain in a marriage they don’t want to, but people who break marriage contracts should have to pay damages according to the terms of that contract, just as I can’t be made to live somewhere I don’t want to, but I will have to pay damages if I break the lease.
It isn’t force over trade. Contracts are trade. People must be held to the terms of their contract(or damages) or there is no trade.
So, you choose not to address the grandparent’s point about social stigma, and you want to add other ‘optional’ binding agreements which may themselves have social pressure pushing people to adopt them.
If you want people to find the process of divorce unpleasant, you can rest assured that most of them probably do.
So, you choose not to address the grandparent’s point about social stigma, and you want to add other ‘optional’ binding agreements which may themselves have social pressure pushing people to adopt them.
I didn’t think the grandparent made any point about ‘social stigma’ worth addressing. But, to be clear:
You don’t have any right to your neighbours’ good opinion.
If doing X would upset (or please) your neighbours, your choice (not) to do X is still voluntary. It just means you’re facing a trade-off. Welcome to adulthood.
More generally, I don’t think that social approval/stigma are bad things. They are the glue that binds civil society together. I can’t help notice that people when people speak negatively of social pressure, they never apply that critique generally. Should there be less social stigma against racism? Less social stigma against harassment? Suddenly, they’re not so sure.
If you want people to find the process of divorce unpleasant, you can rest assured that most of them probably do.
Actually, my focus is on making marriage more pleasant.
More generally, I don’t think that social approval/stigma are bad things. They are the glue that binds civil society together. I can’t help notice that people when people speak negatively of social pressure, they never apply that critique generally. Should there be less social stigma against racism? Less social stigma against harassment? Suddenly, they’re not so sure.
I’m a lot happier with social stigma when it attaches to acts and fades in proportion to time distance from the act, at some rate inversely proportional to severity, rather than attaching to immutable properties (whether or not they derive from some act). If I hypothetically get plastered and vomit strawberry Jello shots and half-digested guacamole all over my friend’s expensive Persian rug, chances are my friends are going to give me a lot of shit about it, and to be a little more cautious about inviting me to parties for a while… but I do not thereby become Gest the Puker, then and forevermore. Divorce has traditionally not had this property.
I might make an exception for crimes on the level of murder or rape, on the grounds that those are so severe that the stigma shouldn’t vanish in a normal lifetime. (Though on reflection, I doubt I’d think much less of him if my grandfather revealed that he’d killed a man in his youth.) But if we’re going to be treating marriage as a civil contract like any other, then breaking it is a civil matter, not something on that level.
If doing X would upset (or please) your neighbours, your choice (not) to do X is still voluntary. It just means you’re facing a trade-off. Welcome to adulthood.
For some value of “voluntary”, sure. Likewise, for some value of “voluntary” if I point a gun at you and ask you to do something, your choice whether to do what I ask or be shot is voluntary.
For better or worse, marriages as presently constituted in the West are not commercial contracts, but legal, social, and (optionally) religious arrangements conferring certain statuses on the partners in the eyes of the law, society, the relevant religious bodies, and each other. If you want a marriage contract such as you describe, there’s no point in complaining that marriage contracts as they exist are not that. It would take a legal historian to say authoritatively, but I am not sure they ever have been. There are various similarities and differences, but they are different entities.
What you would have to do instead, is design a contract such as you would wish a marriage contract to be, and consult with lawyers to see if it can be done in a manner that would be recognised by current law and practice as a valid contract incurring damages for its breach. If you find that it cannot be done, then you would have to agitate for such changes to the law as would be necessary to recognise it.
If that’s too big a job for one person, you could combine with others, register a domain—realmarriage.org is available—and begin a movement.
What you would have to do instead, is design a contract such as you would wish a marriage contract to be, and consult with lawyers to see if it can be done in a manner that would be recognised by current law and practice as a valid contract incurring damages for its breach.
Isn’t that what pre-nups are?
I don’t know to which extent the courts will be willing to enforce the “damages” portions, but pre-nups are valid contracts and fulfill much of the needs you’re pointing to.
Possibly, but pre-nups aren’t valid in some jurisdictions (the UK, for example).
Some other issues have occurred to me regarding the redesign of marriage contracts. If a marriage contract is to be simply an ordinary contract in the framework of contract law, then several issues arise, which Salemicus and others of like mind might not want. What, if anything is to distinguish a “marriage” contract from any other, if it can be drawn up between any two (or more) people of legal age to enter into contracts? If the contract says whatever the parties wish it to say, is there any longer such a thing as “marriage”? How shall “marriage” be defined for such purposes as widows’ pensions, the line of succession in intestacy, etc.?
Any contract can be varied or voided instantly by common agreement of the parties, because no third party has any legal standing to object. Thus marriage “contracts” of this sort would make divorce by mutual agreement instant. (If there is no other ground than decision to separate, it takes 2 years in the UK.)
The only alternative is to reform the law of marriage itself. This is not to say that it cannot be done, but it would be a long row to hoe.
I don’t know who you’re arguing against, but it certainly isn’t me.
As I’ve stated Oh, at least a dozen times in this thread, I don’t want all marriages to be unbreakable. I just want people to be able to set the terms of their marriages as they see fit. No-one should be forced to remain in a marriage they don’t want to, but people who break marriage contracts should have to pay damages according to the terms of that contract, just as I can’t be made to live somewhere I don’t want to, but I will have to pay damages if I break the lease.
It isn’t force over trade. Contracts are trade. People must be held to the terms of their contract(or damages) or there is no trade.
So, you choose not to address the grandparent’s point about social stigma, and you want to add other ‘optional’ binding agreements which may themselves have social pressure pushing people to adopt them.
If you want people to find the process of divorce unpleasant, you can rest assured that most of them probably do.
I didn’t think the grandparent made any point about ‘social stigma’ worth addressing. But, to be clear:
You don’t have any right to your neighbours’ good opinion.
If doing X would upset (or please) your neighbours, your choice (not) to do X is still voluntary. It just means you’re facing a trade-off. Welcome to adulthood.
More generally, I don’t think that social approval/stigma are bad things. They are the glue that binds civil society together. I can’t help notice that people when people speak negatively of social pressure, they never apply that critique generally. Should there be less social stigma against racism? Less social stigma against harassment? Suddenly, they’re not so sure.
Actually, my focus is on making marriage more pleasant.
I’m a lot happier with social stigma when it attaches to acts and fades in proportion to time distance from the act, at some rate inversely proportional to severity, rather than attaching to immutable properties (whether or not they derive from some act). If I hypothetically get plastered and vomit strawberry Jello shots and half-digested guacamole all over my friend’s expensive Persian rug, chances are my friends are going to give me a lot of shit about it, and to be a little more cautious about inviting me to parties for a while… but I do not thereby become Gest the Puker, then and forevermore. Divorce has traditionally not had this property.
I might make an exception for crimes on the level of murder or rape, on the grounds that those are so severe that the stigma shouldn’t vanish in a normal lifetime. (Though on reflection, I doubt I’d think much less of him if my grandfather revealed that he’d killed a man in his youth.) But if we’re going to be treating marriage as a civil contract like any other, then breaking it is a civil matter, not something on that level.
For some value of “voluntary”, sure. Likewise, for some value of “voluntary” if I point a gun at you and ask you to do something, your choice whether to do what I ask or be shot is voluntary.
For better or worse, marriages as presently constituted in the West are not commercial contracts, but legal, social, and (optionally) religious arrangements conferring certain statuses on the partners in the eyes of the law, society, the relevant religious bodies, and each other. If you want a marriage contract such as you describe, there’s no point in complaining that marriage contracts as they exist are not that. It would take a legal historian to say authoritatively, but I am not sure they ever have been. There are various similarities and differences, but they are different entities.
What you would have to do instead, is design a contract such as you would wish a marriage contract to be, and consult with lawyers to see if it can be done in a manner that would be recognised by current law and practice as a valid contract incurring damages for its breach. If you find that it cannot be done, then you would have to agitate for such changes to the law as would be necessary to recognise it.
If that’s too big a job for one person, you could combine with others, register a domain—realmarriage.org is available—and begin a movement.
Isn’t that what pre-nups are?
I don’t know to which extent the courts will be willing to enforce the “damages” portions, but pre-nups are valid contracts and fulfill much of the needs you’re pointing to.
Possibly, but pre-nups aren’t valid in some jurisdictions (the UK, for example).
Some other issues have occurred to me regarding the redesign of marriage contracts. If a marriage contract is to be simply an ordinary contract in the framework of contract law, then several issues arise, which Salemicus and others of like mind might not want. What, if anything is to distinguish a “marriage” contract from any other, if it can be drawn up between any two (or more) people of legal age to enter into contracts? If the contract says whatever the parties wish it to say, is there any longer such a thing as “marriage”? How shall “marriage” be defined for such purposes as widows’ pensions, the line of succession in intestacy, etc.?
Any contract can be varied or voided instantly by common agreement of the parties, because no third party has any legal standing to object. Thus marriage “contracts” of this sort would make divorce by mutual agreement instant. (If there is no other ground than decision to separate, it takes 2 years in the UK.)
The only alternative is to reform the law of marriage itself. This is not to say that it cannot be done, but it would be a long row to hoe.