Thanks! I agree that trying too hard or seeming fake is a big turnoff and would decrease your chances of success, but choosing better photos seems like a pretty covert activity (and one which seems to have reasonably high social approval).
I agree that choosing good photos is both covert and has high social approval. But the important feature of the norm of being genuine is that people simply don’t evaluate their chances of success: instead, whatever success they happen to get is evidence of how attractive they are.
But dating profiles are still relatively new, and their saturation in the dating world is very new. I expect that the norms will shift to accommodate them. Consider that it remains totally normal for people to put more effort than usual into the clothes they wear for a date; profile photos seem like they will probably slide into the same position as wearing a nice shirt, with mostly the same considerations.
Thanks! I agree that trying too hard or seeming fake is a big turnoff and would decrease your chances of success, but choosing better photos seems like a pretty covert activity (and one which seems to have reasonably high social approval).
I agree that choosing good photos is both covert and has high social approval. But the important feature of the norm of being genuine is that people simply don’t evaluate their chances of success: instead, whatever success they happen to get is evidence of how attractive they are.
But dating profiles are still relatively new, and their saturation in the dating world is very new. I expect that the norms will shift to accommodate them. Consider that it remains totally normal for people to put more effort than usual into the clothes they wear for a date; profile photos seem like they will probably slide into the same position as wearing a nice shirt, with mostly the same considerations.