Most of the shirts I’ve received as gifts I haven’t actually worn, because they don’t portray the image I’d like to (they’re durable signals). A candle, as a private consumable, is something that I might burn even if it’s incongruent, because burning it doesn’t represent a commitment. (This is a strong, potentially non-obvious reason to prefer consumables over durables when getting gifts for others.)
Beyond that, memorable isn’t just “amount of time it’s used” but “remarkability.” I rarely think about my underwear; I just grab the top one out of the drawer, and I buy the cheapest variety above some quality threshold. I own one pair that’s bright green that I bought for the lulz; even though I wear it about a twentieth of the time as the first variety, it’s much more memorable because it stands out.
When I am given a candle, which I can save for power outages or impromptu celebrations or even just give it to somebody else, I am glad because 1) I’m not likely to buy one for myself but every single time I see it in a shop I think I would, were it only slightly cheaper, 2) it is a focus point, a symbol of voluntary solitude, even a cheap one, and in this way very unlike a shirt (although I have a couple shirts which for me have symbolic significance), 3) I am a twin who likes having her own things even if I don’t mind sharing, and I have loaned clothes when other people were in need, and candles when we all were.
Of course- in large part because the target is smaller, and thus it signals much more precise knowledge about the recipient. If you don’t have a strong ability to discern other people’s preferences, go with expensive consumables, because that’s a broader target and expectations are lower.
Either it isn’t, or many people do an incredibly poor job. There are even specific events for getting rid of flop gifts (white elephant parties) and a phrase for how to get rid of a poor gift (re-gifting).
A shirt is going to be more memorable because people use shirts constantly. The candle is used at most once.
Most of the shirts I’ve received as gifts I haven’t actually worn, because they don’t portray the image I’d like to (they’re durable signals). A candle, as a private consumable, is something that I might burn even if it’s incongruent, because burning it doesn’t represent a commitment. (This is a strong, potentially non-obvious reason to prefer consumables over durables when getting gifts for others.)
Beyond that, memorable isn’t just “amount of time it’s used” but “remarkability.” I rarely think about my underwear; I just grab the top one out of the drawer, and I buy the cheapest variety above some quality threshold. I own one pair that’s bright green that I bought for the lulz; even though I wear it about a twentieth of the time as the first variety, it’s much more memorable because it stands out.
When I am given a candle, which I can save for power outages or impromptu celebrations or even just give it to somebody else, I am glad because 1) I’m not likely to buy one for myself but every single time I see it in a shop I think I would, were it only slightly cheaper, 2) it is a focus point, a symbol of voluntary solitude, even a cheap one, and in this way very unlike a shirt (although I have a couple shirts which for me have symbolic significance), 3) I am a twin who likes having her own things even if I don’t mind sharing, and I have loaned clothes when other people were in need, and candles when we all were.
So candles trump shirts on all counts!:))
A shirt that does portray the image the recipient would like to is a much better present.
Of course- in large part because the target is smaller, and thus it signals much more precise knowledge about the recipient. If you don’t have a strong ability to discern other people’s preferences, go with expensive consumables, because that’s a broader target and expectations are lower.
Isn’t signalling knowledge about the recipient pretty much the whole point of giving presents? Otherwise we’d just give people cash.
You can signal various other things too like sophisticated taste or having spent time picking/creating the present etc.
Either it isn’t, or many people do an incredibly poor job. There are even specific events for getting rid of flop gifts (white elephant parties) and a phrase for how to get rid of a poor gift (re-gifting).