try to explain what happened and why you’re upset, and people respond in a way that’s questioning everything you say, nitpicking your phrasing
This sounds like when you have a pre-verbal understanding (felt sense) of something, and people are like: “if you immediately cannot translate it to legible words, it is not legit”. Problem is, even if you do your best to translate it to the words immediately, those words will most likely be wrong somehow. Pointing out the problem with the (prematurely chosen) words will then be used to dismiss the feeling as a signal.
You still know that the feeling is a signal of something, but under such circumstances is becomes impossible to figure out what exactly.
The nice thing would be instead to listen, and maybe collaborate on finding the words, which is an iterative process of someone proposing the words, and you providing feedback on what fits and what does not.
Yeah, basically agreed that this is what’s going on.
I agree that listening in a collaborative way is a good thing to do when you have a friend/colleague in this situation.
I’m not sure what to do in the context of this post, if the problem comes up organically. The collaborative listening thing seems to work best in a two-person pair, not an internet forum. I guess “wait for it to come up” is fine.
This sounds like when you have a pre-verbal understanding (felt sense) of something, and people are like: “if you immediately cannot translate it to legible words, it is not legit”. Problem is, even if you do your best to translate it to the words immediately, those words will most likely be wrong somehow. Pointing out the problem with the (prematurely chosen) words will then be used to dismiss the feeling as a signal.
You still know that the feeling is a signal of something, but under such circumstances is becomes impossible to figure out what exactly.
The nice thing would be instead to listen, and maybe collaborate on finding the words, which is an iterative process of someone proposing the words, and you providing feedback on what fits and what does not.
Yeah, basically agreed that this is what’s going on.
I agree that listening in a collaborative way is a good thing to do when you have a friend/colleague in this situation.
I’m not sure what to do in the context of this post, if the problem comes up organically. The collaborative listening thing seems to work best in a two-person pair, not an internet forum. I guess “wait for it to come up” is fine.