I could talk a lot about it. So what exactly do you want to know ? :-)
I have the same symptoms. But the worst for me is that it is so difficult to keep myself under control ( like you have said that things are happening just because of the depression) I also often have weird thoughts,some kind of hallucinations. Most people equate depression with sadness. But it isn’t only sadness. I would rather say it feels like inner emptiness. Or like someone dismembers you into pieces. ( I don’t really know how to describe this feeling).Sometimes I’m even beside myself with rage. Therefore I get the urge to scream and to destroy things ( normally I’m a very calm person). And sometimes it hurts so much that I can’t feel affection or love. That’s getting me really,really down. I don’t want to be so cold.
I have finally realized that I can’t bear it anymore. It keeps getting worse and all my attempts to do something against it have failed. Sometimes I’m able to distract myself but I can’t “heal” it.
Thanks, that sounds logical for me. And I don’t mean that I can’t learn to be happy without them. I already have found out some ways on my own to cope better.But I can’t “heal” it completely.And I have also started a therapy now.It seems like my psychotherapist understands me but I’m not really sure whether he can help me or not. ( I was only once there and my second date will be next week)