I agree with your comment and this part especially:
However, the same thought process doesn’t occur on winning; people aren’t inclined to analyze their successes in the say way that they analyze their failures, even if they are both random events.
Very true. I see a lot of behavior that matches this. This would be an excellent source of the complaint if it happened after they lost. My friends complained before they even picked up their cards.
So, when I pester them for a rational reason, why do they keep giving an answer that is irrational for this situation?
I can understand your answer if the scenario was more like:
“Hey! Don’t do that!”
“But it doesn’t matter. See?”
”Oh. Well, okay. But don’t do it anyway because...”
And then they mention your heuristic. They didn’t do anything like this. They explicitly understood that nothing was changing in the probabilities and they explicitly understood that I was not cheating. And they were completely willing to defend their reaction in arguments. In their mind, their position was completely rational. I could not convince them that it was rational with math. Something else was the problem.
“Heuristics” is nifty, but I am not completely satisfied with that answer. Why would they have kept defending it when it was demonstrably wrong?
I suppose it is possible that they were completely unaware that they were using whatever heuristic they were using. Would that explain the behavior? Perhaps this is why they could not explain their position to me at the time of the arguments?
How would you describe this heuristic in a few sentences?