lululu

Karma: 304

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:44 AM
0 points
in reply to: [deleted]’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
see my comment on shminux’s post ^^

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:42 AM
1 point
in reply to: sixes_and_sevens’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
I’ve always wanted this, but in a magical genie kind of way! OK cupid tries to do something like this by matching people pre-meeting. At an IRL interaction I can’t imagine how a computer would figure this out before I did unless it had a very accurate idea of every personality in the group. So every person would have to have personality tests on file. Which I guess isn’t implausible in the future!

I also wonder if this would silo people even more among others similar to them. If anti-vaxers only talk to other anti-vaxers, and none of them have ever been friends or talked to a proponent of vaccination, they have no reason to ever change their mind. People who grew up poor only talk to other people who grew up poor, and the same for those who grew up rich, so fewer unexpected opportunities for social mobility/job offers/connections.

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:34 AM
2 points
in reply to: ChristianKl’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
Also note that most pre-cancerous and even post-cancerous cells are dealt with easily by the immune system. Its a very small minority of cancer cells that escape, you would end up just driving yourself crazy by sensing/noticing each one. This is why they aren’t recommending mammograms, pap smears, or prostate exams as much or for as wide an age range as they used to, for young and healthy immune systems, treatment has worse outcomes than just letting the body do its thing.

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:29 AM
0 points
in reply to: Shmi’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
I could see this successfully using face-recognition software and tied into the auditory sense. I can’t remember where I read it, but I read that people on the autism spectrum respond as strongly to the emotions evoked in music as neurotypical people. An emotion decoding computer (those exist and are pretty good now) can decide whether a person’s mood should be represented by a happy C chord or a sad D minor or an angry discordant sound or an stressed buzz, and the musicality would be a good non-invasive emotional injector/empathizator.

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:21 AM
2 points
in reply to: philh’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
https://code.google.com/p/bottlenose/wiki/BottleNose \

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:15 AM
0 points
in reply to: DanArmak’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
oops!

lululu May 25, 2015, 6:15 AM
0 points
in reply to: The_Duck’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
Somewhere in between your level of discomfort from not doing things and my level (which is 0)...

I think it would be kind of nice to have it embodied in an actual physical sensation like needing to pee, instead of a nagging and building sense of guilt and self-directed frustration? You could externalize those feelings and maybe it would let you train those skills without developing the same emotional ugh fields.

lululu May 22, 2015, 3:14 PM
5 points
in reply to: [deleted]’s comment on: Brainstorming new senses
For the majority of pathogens this already exists. Certain ones like botulism are tasteless /odorless, but our built in chemorecepters are sensitive to the metabolites of most pathogens even at a high ppm (in other words, rotten/rancid food smells gross even when it is just starting to turn.)

lululu May 21, 2015, 7:40 PM
7 points
on: Brainstorming new senses
How about: as a commitment mechanism, a small but nagging amount of discomfort related to your procrastination on a measurable task. I’m picturing this working something like the need to pee, with the difference that it resets at night: the discomfort could build throughout the day and instantly be resolved when you completed the task and reduced as you work toward the task.

For instance, if you committed to exercising a certain amount, accelerameters could estimate physical activity. for every step you took, your discomfort would decrease and for ever hour you sat on the couch, your discomfort would grow.

Possible commitments this would work with: exercise anki decks habbitrpg points spend a certain amount of time talking per day (for the recluse/introvert trying to train social skills)

Brainstorming new senses

lululuMay 20, 2015, 7:53 PM

42 points

92 comments2 min readLW link

lululu May 20, 2015, 7:46 PM
0 points
in reply to: Adam Zerner’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up

Assume that you judge that re-entering the relationship will make you happier than not doing so.

This holds true if you are comparing it to being single and lonely, but off-and-on relationships bring only slightly more happiness than singlehood and much less happiness than stable relationships. By reentering the old unstable relationship you are incurring a very heavy opportunity cost of the greatly increased happiness you could get from a new and stable relationships you could enter into.

This logic falls apart in a poly relationship, though.

lululu May 20, 2015, 7:40 PM
0 points
in reply to: [deleted]’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
Hahaha, third wave for psychiatry...we’re pretty slow on the uptake.

I’m only familiar with the clinical western version, which is mindfulness based. So the main focus is on being aware in the current moment of sensations in your body and how they change. Basically just noticing. Also a very high emphasis on acceptance and gentle redirection back to the present moment when you notice that thoughts begin to form. Posture is whatever position is comfortable: a straight backed chair or laying on the ground.

I can see the similarities between the meditations you describe and the western version, but I can also definitely see why the practice has been modified to be more forgiving if it’s aimed at depressed people. What you describe sounds very exacting which is probably not great for someone prone to berating themselves out of proportion. Most of the western versions I’ve heard include something like the phrase “if your mind wanders, this is to be expected. Your brain is a thinking machine and it’s designed to do just that. Just gently bring it back to your breathing for as long as you can whenever you notice it wandering again.”

I would be interested in trying to original versions. I attempted something like lovingkindness meditation, which is Tibetan and involves imagining and feeling compassion for someone you love, then trying to feel the same compassion for someone you feel neutral about, someone you don’t get along with, then everyone. It seemed to have good results.

lululu May 20, 2015, 7:25 PM
0 points
in reply to: bogus’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
Definitely! Attachment was the main problem I think. Attachment requires a confluence of a lot of happy emotions at high levels and in connection with a specific person. Happy emotions yes, but not at high enough levels I think.

For the record, after I wrote my last post I realized I had never actually asked him if my best guess of why he ended it was accurate. According to him, mostly accurate but my low conscientiousness was less of a factor then I assumed, but low energy was a factor in terms of me wanting to do things with our mutual friends and him not wanting to.

lululu May 19, 2015, 9:38 PM
1 point
in reply to: someonewrongonthenet’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
I will definitely update in a few months! I’m curious too...

Very interesting link! Gender differences are definitely non-trivial, I’m just not sure in which ways.

In my specific case he had a slightly easier time securing post-breakup dates because he already was dating someone (however that someone is pretty emotionally unhealthy by any measure, herself going through a psychological crisis). My low conscientiousness meant that, despite improving in this realm, he did more of the traditional caretaking (chores, cooking, cleaning), meanwhile I got a heavier emotional caretaking load. He is certainly more socially isolated than me. And the break up definitely hit him harder.

I wish I could speak more to gender in a general way, I’m just not sure exactly how a breakup differently effects someone who is not my gender, and I have a very hard time in my case of separating which effects are gendered and which are personal (depression, consciousnesses, etc)

lululu May 19, 2015, 9:26 PM
0 points
in reply to: lululu’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
Smiling Mind is an excellent and very low commitment course on the basics of mindfulness meditiation. http://smilingmind.com.au/

lululu May 19, 2015, 9:25 PM
1 point
in reply to: OrphanWilde’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
Maybe the information that isn’t being conveyed is the subjective experience of being inside a brain reshaped by meditation practice?
- In experienced buddhist monks: http://www.yalescientific.org/2012/05/the-healing-art-of-meditation/
- In depressed people without prior meditation experience: http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/B:COTR.0000045557.15923.96
Smiling Mind is an excellent and very low commitment course on the basics of mindfulness meditiation. http://smilingmind.com.au/

lululu May 19, 2015, 8:52 PM
0 points
in reply to: [deleted]’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up

It is perfectly normal to not want to get over it, because you cherish the feeling of love even though it hurts now to a letting go.

There is a certain sweetness and poetic appeal to being sad for love’s sake, though I’m not sure if it is a healthy thing to wallow in for extended times.

On the other hand, suppressing your sadness directly is a sure way for those feelings to become stronger and more powerful, feeling suppression is an ironic process. The stronger your efforts to suppress your unhappiness, the more powerless against them you become. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ironic_process_theory).

Like rumination, sadness must be acknowledged and then dismissed. A helpful attitude is something like “I am sad now and I have permission to be sad now, but I will not let the current sadness stop me from attempting things that might make me happier. Sadness is just a disembodied thought and so is powerless to forever control my actions.”

So I think I understand your gist, but the phrasing is a bit off. I don’t think it is helpful to advise people on how to get over it if they don’t want that. I also think it counts as dwelling in and ruminating on sadness, which is an unhealthy way of dealing with feelings. And I also think the people who don’t want to get over it wouldn’t be seeking out this post.

I’m going to edit the post to mention meditation. Mindfulness meditation is a third wave technique with fantastic clinical results in reducing sadness and rumination. The attitude of mindfulness allows you to become aware of your thoughts without dwelling in them or being trapped by them. You assess each thought or feeling, acknowledge it, and move on to the next one.

If you have slight depression, it seems like your brain might be biased to notice the passing of good things more often than the bad, despite the knowledge that all things pass. All negative feelings are just as temporary as positive ones, all negative life events are just as temporary as positive ones. If you appreciate Buddhism, but you might find that you grock the impermanence of sadness and negative things better if you take up mindfulness mediation. After learning meditation techniques, just 5 minutes of maintenance meditation a day did as well as medication for alleviating mild depression, about as long as brushing your teeth takes.

lululu May 19, 2015, 7:41 PM
3 points
in reply to: bogus’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
By using the word calm, I think I did a poor job of explaining what neuroticism means and implies. I think the Wikipedia page would be best for this, but my own experience is that I feel the same range and variety of emotions, I just deal with negative emotions in an extremely healthy and productive way, so the duration of negative feelings tends to be shorter and positive feeling tend to last longer. My attachment style is secure and my empathy is unusually strong, so from at least my perspective it wasn’t a relationship of two people just doing things together.

Depression and depression medications both cause emotional blunting, though. So at times I know he felt like he was just going through the motions. The feeling wasn’t specific to the relationship but included other aspects of life: friends, work, etc. People in deep depression tend to perpetuate it by imposing their own social isolation, which is a very maladaptive behavior. This emotional blunting is, in the end, the factor that ended our relationship.

But assuming that a relationship between a depressed person and a healthy person is necessarily of low quality is reasoning that leads in a direction I am strongly opposed to.

I don’t think a relationship with a severely depressed person is likely to last as long (though I don’t have data on this). But I emphatically wouldn’t discourage people from dating for that reason. I’m having trouble explaining why, I feel so strongly about this. Not pursuing romantic love because it doesn’t last forever or isn’t absolutely perfect is… not the correct approach for optimising human happiness. For a depressed person, social support can create larger gains in net happiness because the starting happiness is so low, even if the absolute happiness doesn’t get as high. I certainly don’t regret our relationship, we both gained a lot from it.

Often when I talk someone who doesn’t know my ex, and I tell them I recently broke up, they immediately invent a laundry list of reasons our relationship was low quality. As I give more information, their suggestions become more and more confident and specific, but just as far from reality. I’m happy to share what actually factored into our break up, in the spirit of full disclosure.

In addition to emotional blunting, my low conscientious became more stressful as his energy levels dropped. New relationships are more intense, which means a larger appeal to someone with blunted emotions—the new but non-serious person he was dating reminded him of the possibility. Finally, neither of us had ever planned to make a marriage-level commitment so our threshold for breaking up was probably lower than people working towards that goal. I hope this is helpful for getting a better picture.

lululu May 19, 2015, 6:13 PM
0 points
in reply to: Elo’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
Partially because I forgot that it was a wiki, thanks for the reminder! I don’t know, though, it’s a very personal story of one person’s journey, super narrative based. I think it might be more appropriate if I linked to this from there and they remain separate.

lululu May 18, 2015, 10:06 PM
4 points
in reply to: Gunnar_Zarncke’s comment on: Strategies and tools for getting through a break up
It was very helpful for me to read your wiki about your break up, some very good advice there! I think it is also very helpful to see people who have gone through difficult break ups and returned to their normal level of happiness. Impact bias makes it hard to remember that very few things have lasting negative effects on happiness.

lululu

Brain­storm­ing new senses

Brainstorming new senses