Tell the people who tell you, you aren’t trying hard enough to take a hike. They are useless in this situation, well-meaning but useless. Not everyone with ADHD or other executive function disorders struggle with this to the full extent of no habits. I explained to one person...you have auto pilot, you do the same thing over and over and you reach a point where you don’t even have to think about it anymore. I have test pilot...if it isn’t new, exciting or death defying I won’t even show up at the airport. If I do something the same 21+ days in a row it actually becomes more difficult for me not less. Because my brain is actually working against me. And the number of people on this planet that understand that, are miniscule at best. You don’t have habits. They are very common and very helpful but you can still do great things without them. What you have to do is leverage what you do have...you have preferences, you have an environment, you have interaction with others, you have choices. I have had counselors tell me that not having habits was impossible. Most of what I thought were habits growing up was just me interacting with structure and consequences other people had put in place. My preference was for their acceptance and approval so I did things the way they wanted but it was never routine for me. There was always a high level of risk involved in anything I kept going for any length of time. When the risk was gone so was the behavior offer without me even really noticing it had changed. Now I don’t even use the word habit. I say strategy and I change strategies often to get the results I want. I don’t waste time feeling bad about strategies that no longer serve me or feeling like failed because I couldn’t force it to work for me. I pay attention to my energy and effort, how much I am expending to get my needs met. I have simplified my life and possessions to make it easier for me. I have support from people who love me, who help from time to time. I recognize that I have limits and I live the best life I can within them. You can do amazing things without habits, you really can!
Tell the people who tell you, you aren’t trying hard enough to take a hike. They are useless in this situation, well-meaning but useless. Not everyone with ADHD or other executive function disorders struggle with this to the full extent of no habits. I explained to one person...you have auto pilot, you do the same thing over and over and you reach a point where you don’t even have to think about it anymore. I have test pilot...if it isn’t new, exciting or death defying I won’t even show up at the airport. If I do something the same 21+ days in a row it actually becomes more difficult for me not less. Because my brain is actually working against me. And the number of people on this planet that understand that, are miniscule at best. You don’t have habits. They are very common and very helpful but you can still do great things without them. What you have to do is leverage what you do have...you have preferences, you have an environment, you have interaction with others, you have choices. I have had counselors tell me that not having habits was impossible. Most of what I thought were habits growing up was just me interacting with structure and consequences other people had put in place. My preference was for their acceptance and approval so I did things the way they wanted but it was never routine for me. There was always a high level of risk involved in anything I kept going for any length of time. When the risk was gone so was the behavior offer without me even really noticing it had changed. Now I don’t even use the word habit. I say strategy and I change strategies often to get the results I want. I don’t waste time feeling bad about strategies that no longer serve me or feeling like failed because I couldn’t force it to work for me. I pay attention to my energy and effort, how much I am expending to get my needs met. I have simplified my life and possessions to make it easier for me. I have support from people who love me, who help from time to time. I recognize that I have limits and I live the best life I can within them. You can do amazing things without habits, you really can!