I have known several very overweight men who’ve managed to be very attractive to women. I’m not quite sure how they did it, but whatever they did worked. They have generally been pretty charismatic and charming.
Just want to add that AFAICT losing weight and not regaining it is very hard. I think only a very small number of dieters manage to keep weight off in the long run (though paleo etc might be more effective than most diets—I’m not sure). I’m not convinced that dieting is the “lowest hanging fruit,” but I’m not sure how MrMind could develop the kind of charisma required to be attractive despite being very overweight.
I’m female and I didn’t date at all until I was 22 . People very rarely seemed to be attracted to be before that, but since then, I haven’t found it at all hard to get dates! I think 3 of the most important changes I made are as applicable to men as to women:
Learning to dress better. I figured out what clothes suited me and wore them.
Becoming better at socialising. I had been terribly socially anxious before that, which made it hard for me to talk to new people.I went on antidepressants for generalised anxiety and depression, but an accidental side effect was that they made me massively less socially anxious. I made friends much more easily, and that meant I could meet and talk to people I was interested in dating.
Not worrying too much about whether a particular guy liked me or not. Becoming too keen too quickly can be offputting, so remembering that there are lots of other men in the world was a good idea!
I’m still not great at relationships, but that’s another story!